"Love yourself for who and what you are; protect your dream and develop your talent to the fullest extent." --Joan Benoit Samuelson

My half-marathon training began today, a week ahead of schedule. I just couldn't put it off anymore! My workout routine for the month of August was challenging enough and I definitely enjoyed watching my muscles grow and body change, but I missed running. So today I thought, what the hell and went for it. I can add mileage one week or fall back a week if I need it and having cushion makes the process a little less daunting.

I've been running for ages, yet it wasn't until college when I fell in love with the activity. Having thirty, sixty, ninety minutes to filter through your thoughts and collect yourself is incredibly therapeutic. Pushing yourself harder, faster, longer and finding that you're capable of it is eye opening. Suddenly, you realize the punches the world throws you won't knock you down. If you're capable of a long run in the heat of summer, anything is possible.

There is nothing more soothing to me than the feel of my feet hitting the pavement or more exciting than having that song come on, the one you've been waiting to hear and finding some hidden store of energy to keep going. To look down at your watch and see that you'd been running longer than you realized, to feel shock when you're not as tired as you expected to be. Finishing a run, collapsing on the hardwood floor while your dog licks the sweat off your legs has got to be one of the best feelings I know.

So here I go. I'll write posts pertaining to my training just to make sure I stay motivated and on top of it. Just over three months until the big run and as excited I as am for race day, I'm more excited for the challenge facing me between then and now.

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"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less...than butterflies."

--Carrie Bradshaw

Well, it's that time again. Sunday night always rolls around and I always feel like I did in primary school - bummed. Not necessarily bummed to go to work but sad that another weekend has come to an end.

I was remembering a conversation had between friends last weekend earlier today. Somehow we got onto the topic of relationships and settling and ever since then I've wondered, is settling worse than ending up alone? I'm not sure. Part of me says yes, absolutely. How can you be happy if the whole time you're wondering what else is out there? But when you're alone, you can't help wonder if you gave up on the one you were supposed to end up with. Or when you're going to meet the one you will end up with.

Which raised another point, if everyone has their one that got away, what is it that prevents us from trying to win them back? Is it pride? Or is it the fear that they got away for a reason? Too many times we over think things. Emotions, relationships, actions. My first instinct is to overanalyze everything when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex which tends to make things, or really just me, crazy. But now, I have decided to think less and just got for it. Go with your gut and don't look back. That's what my professors always told me on tests and it looks like it's pretty applicable to life.

So the question remains: would you rather settle or be alone? Would you risk losing a good relationship because you believe a better one must out there? Or would you hold out in the hope that that good relationship turns into the one that gives you butterflies? Would you stay in a relationship because you're scared to be alone, even if it you know you're only in it to maintain the status quo? Or would you go for it, try to find the right person for you knowing full well that you might not? It's taken me a couple hundred words plus a quote from a wise woman to realize, I won't settle for anything less than butterflies. And if he doesn't show up, at least I have my dog...

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"Happiness, not in another place but this place...not for another hour, but this hour." --Walt Whitman

We all know the grass is always greener and we always want more, but are we ever happy with what we have? We always want the bigger house, the better job, the nicer car but when you think about it, there was a time when you wanted the car you have now or when that apartment you got was too big for you.

It's weird to think about, the fact that all too often after working so hard to get something, turning around and wanting something else. We all do it, don't try to pretend you don't, even if it's something small. We're constantly wanting something different, something supposedly better. So when do we get to the top of that totem pole and realize how amazing things are?

One of the best examples that comes to mind is losing weight. You set a goal, maybe you accomplish it, maybe you don't, but those first few weeks after losing weight are amazing. You can see the changes and feel the difference. But then, after you reach a plateau or perhaps decide to stop actively losing weight, you get used to what you've got and suddenly, it's not good enough. And hey, maybe that's just me but I have a sneaking suspicion it's not.

I have to remind myself, when my mood sours and my outlook darkens, that there were times when I dreamt about the life I'm leading now. And even though I might want something different, something "better", I need to take the time to think about how good those things are now. I know I'm blessed but I could do to remember it more often. We don't know when happiness will come and we don't know how long it will stay, but like Walt Whitman says above, enjoy it now, while you have it. Enjoy and be thankful for what is in your life.

Well, that got a little preachy...oops!

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"You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."

-- Walt Disney

Not surprisingly, Mr. Disney makes a great point and it's something I've written plenty about. That being said, I won't touch on it much more than to offer a great quote and hope that you will keep it in mind next time you're reeling from the blow that just hit or the hand you were unexpectedly dealt because for every crummy day you have, two perfectly fine days will follow until eventually, the crummy days are gone. Take my word for it.

I have a puppy. In all honesty, I found it easy to forget the fact that Ted was only eight, nine, ten

months old until now. His illness had plagued him

with the body of a fifteen year old dog, preventing him from walking around the block in even the

coolest of weather. Well, he is most certainly not suffering from that anymore. He got three walks today with sporadic running thrown in the mix and he still had energy to burn. He has to walk on his leash now because if he even sees another person, much less another dog, he will bolt to make a new friend. I watched him play with my neighbors dog this weekend and had to pinch myself to make sure it was real.

Due to this, I had to buckle down and do the things I had been putting off. I finally caved and gave him a good haircut, trimming down the spots my dad had missed and getting his hair down to a more manageable length. Little does he know he'll probably be getting another

grooming session this weekend. He did surprisingly well with the trimmers, sitting for me and not making any kind of fuss. As you can tell (I hope?) left is the before and right is the after (although I cut the hair on his face a bit later). He looks like a whole new dog!

I feel like I have finally truly adjusted to the working world and the life that comes with it. Soaking up the weekends as much as possible and still being incredibly productive on the weekdays. I have a schedule I prefer to follow and rather enjoy having everything mapped out. In fact, deviations leave me slightly uncomfortable. Yay for the early signs of some kind of compulsive disorder.

It's finally the weekend and I'm ecstatic. What are your plans?

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When does caring become overbearing?

We all have friends and family that love us and will tell us the absolute truth with no hesitations. But it begs the question, where is the line between caring and overbearing? At times I have felt that any relaying of thoughts, opinions or emotions have been a good thing but as of late, I have gone the other route. Realizing that sometimes, what people think and say might push you towards the very thing they are trying to prevent. So where is the line?

You would think we would take all thoughts and words into consideration. Everyone counts on their friends to have their backs, be the shoulder to cry on and tell them the facts up front without sugar coating it. So why do we get upset when our friends are brutally honest with us? Isn’t that what we claim to always expect from them? And why is it, that when some people tell us the truth, we choose to ignore it?

Brutal honesty is my forte. I hate sugar coating because well, how is someone going to learn if you try to make it seem like less than it is? They won’t. But here’s my question. If we turn to our friends for advice and their outside opinion, why is it so easy to become annoyed with them when we get it? Is it because we don’t like what we hear? Or is it because we know they’re right?

I count on my friends for a number of things and I hate the fact that sometimes I doubt their valuable and irreplaceable opinions. But when I've heard the same thing from multiple people, sometimes I just want to throw it back in their face and say, sorry 'bout ya. And I can only imagine friends of mine saying the same thing about "advice" I have given them. So the question remains, when does caring become overbearing? Where is the line that, once crossed, pushes people closer to the outcome you want them to avoid? And why isn't it clearly marked so that all friends can stop before they get too close?

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"Sorrow is a fruit. God does not make it grow on limbs too weak to bear it." -- Victor Hugo

It has been exactly one month since Teddy lost the fluid in his abdomen. For a while, I expected it to come back and I still fear it will but his behavior this morning makes me think he's feeling better than ever. Nothing beats being woken up by a whining dog, jumping to try and get on your bed and lick you until you wake up. Or taking said dog for a walk around the block and having to speed up your pace to keep up with him. Ironically, I had a dream last night that contained several scenarios of my dog dying and yet here he is, happy, energetic, and hopefully healthy.

I took a much needed break last night and stayed in. I read, wrote, pondered, remembered. And then, this morning, I understood. It truly was an aha moment, the realization of why things had to happen. Take Teddy for example. When we found out he had his liver problems, I had two options. To distance myself from my amazing puppy or bond with him like no other and make sure he had the best last weeks of his life. I went for option B and here we are, 6 months later and still going. That bond is something I wouldn't trade for the world.

Victor Hugo is right- The Lord doesn't put us through trials and tribulations if we can't handle it. Of course, that knowledge and outlook is hardest to grasp when you're in the thick of it all. And I'll admit, I knew things would get better with time and that there was a reason for everything but constantly telling yourself that doesn't make it any easier to believe. No, it's not until you reach the other side of the mountain that you become capable of looking back and appreciating the journey. Appreciating the hardships and burdens you have overcome. And looking back at where you were and seeing where you are now, that's got to be one of the best feelings in the world.

So those troubling times you're going through now? Just remember, they don't last forever and honestly, the view's much better from the other side of the mountain.

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How long do we have to wait for everyone to grow up?

What is it that keeps people, even adults, from growing up? Sure, we all know that women mature faster than men and that you have to date older to find a guy on your maturity level, but I've now experienced first hand that older does not necessarily mean more mature. And it's not an attempt to hold onto youth; that's just a lie someone told to feel better about their behaviors. So what is it that prevents people from maturing?

Is it some kind of twist in their childhood, making them think the carefree ways of the immature were better than the ways of the wise? I find that I'm almost more carefree than I used to be. Not having to worry about what other people think or if you were wearing the right outfit. Not fighting to be in the popular crowd or crying because you aren't. Life now is pretty good. Sure there are bills to pay and you work 40 hours a week, but I'm much more content with that than attending school for 7 odd hours.

The thing I hate the most is when people think they are the most mature, sophisticated people around but they're worse than a 13 year old. We all have our flaws and by this point in life, you would think we'd all be aware of them. I became highly aware of my stubbornness in high school and have since learned to pick my battles very carefully because, well, when you challenge me you better be ready to fight to the death. So when does everyone else catch up? When does the rest of the world realize their flaws, work on them and become the adult they're supposed to be? We can't stay young for everyone and hell, I don't want to. So why would anyone willingly choose to continue a behavior they've been doing since junior high?

How long do we have to wait for everyone to grow up??

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"Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be." --Carrie Bradshaw

I think the most interesting thing to have come from the past two+ weeks is discovering I'm not who I thought I was. I'm not that shy girl I was back in primary school or even during college, I'm not the girl who was scared of risk or adventure and I'm not ready to be tied down to a place like I thought I was.

There were so many times in my past when I would be the quiet one, unable to introduce myself to my peers and in turn, be the odd one out. That wasn't a constant but it was more often then not. And now, here I am, going out and making friends on the weekends, meeting new people and honestly, living for me. I'm doing things because I want to and because of that, I'm enjoying all of the experiences so much more. I'm no longer the homebody who stays in on a Friday night, not because I don't still enjoy that but because I want to go out and meet people, maybe go a little crazy.

I was thinking today, especially with my job, that I can go anywhere. I can live anywhere and still get my job done. Which has made me want to compile a list of the places I want to stay and figure out when I'm moving. Go for 6 months to a year and then move on to the next place. Of course, it's easy to say now when I don't have something/someone tying me to one spot but it's still fun to think of being in California for a while, living in Hawaii and working on the beach, stopping in Houston and watching my precious nephew.

I'm realizing at this point in my life, the options are endless. The opportunities are never-ending and, for now, I have no one to worry about except myself, which is so incredibly freeing (albeit a little little sad, again, for now). It's interesting that people say your past shapes who you become, which can be true. But at the same time, if you hold onto your past for too long, it really can become an anchor that weighs you down and keeps you from growing, changing, improving. Sometimes though, it's easier to hold onto your past. It's what you know since you've experienced it. But take the risk, let it go and figure out first hand who you're supposed to be without the past keeping you from doing so.

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"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul." --Ludwig Von Beethoven

Music has always been an integral part of my life. I remember road trips in which my family would chastise me for "singing" (alright, yelling) along with my Mary-Kate and Ashley cassette tapes, protesting that I was, indeed, the cute one. I remember my mother dragging me to piano lessons, all the while hating them because my fingers could barely reach past a third while my sister did so with ease. And I remember finding my niche with song writing and percussion. Over the years, my passion for music has grown and the need for it in my life has become apparent.

I find it interesting how we come back to what we know and enjoy when things aren't going our way, and even when they are. I had the most amazing vacation last week, spending time with my family who loves me and will always be there. Who gave me the most wonderful hugs and shared a thousand laughs with me. And even in those moments, when jokes and laughter were shared, I realized how important music is for me. To express how I'm feeling, to get certain thoughts out in the open or to even just celebrate and bask in the moment.

My darling cousin Madison and amazing Aunt Liz shared the song of my life right now, Bring Night by Sia. It's another perfect pop anthem to add to your summer playlist and for all those pop fans out there, I would be doing an injustice by not sharing it with you.

It's so simple and yet so entrancing. I can put it on and instantly get the biggest smile on my face. You should have seen me dancing around the condo like a eight year old, singing into my hair brush. But that's the amazing thing about music. It can make you forget all of your problems and take you to a completely different world where, for three minutes, you forget that bills are due on a Tuesday and you are suddenly single. It reminds you that anything is possible and that you still, very much, are capable of smiling like before.

And maybe it's not music for you, maybe it's playing basketball or reading a book, but I've found in those moments when it's just you, you really can find yourself. And music is what allows me to do that. I can only hope you know (or find) what it is that allows you to get to that same point.

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." --Roger Caras

It's been a week of trials and changes but it could not have ended with a better change. Once again, the light of my life, my sweet Teddy has absorbed the fluid in his abdomen. He looks like the 9 month puppy he should and I can't help smile when I look at him. Watching him prance down the sidewalk or go up the stairs is just what I needed.

I realized earlier, on our first walk of the day, that a person who always liked dogs but never had that kind of a connection with a dog, had found her doggie soulmate with Ted. I always knew it but today, walking in step with him, it was an aha moment. He knows my emotions and doesn't ask questions. He truly has made the transition and changes in my life these past few months easier and I cannot imagine what it would have been like had he not been there.

I can only hope the lack of fluid in his abdomen can give his liver what it needs to regenerate and help it become fully functional, though I know it is unwise. I will instead enjoy the time that I have my energetic puppy back and keep doing everything I can to keep him that way.

the love of my life

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“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” --Albert Camus

Obstacles, challenges, problems, they're all put in front of us to make us grow. To make us stronger. They break us down to make us come back as better people. And in the times of those crisis and challenges, all you can do is know that eventually, it will get better. Time truly heals everything, makes the bones mend in their special way and makes a seemingly broken person whole in a way they never were before.

But knowing you will come out the other end better than before doesn't make the journey any easier. There are too many roadblocks that threaten to trip you up and push you back down the path you just came from. You just have to remember that there is a purpose and an end to it all. You only learn about yourself when life is not going like you wanted. It's in those moments that you are challenged to find your way through the mess and come out the other end. To find the invincible summer inside yourself and know that you can get through anything.

My friends have been incredible these past few days, especially those I hadn't realized were there. Another blessing in those times of pain, discovering who is there to hold your hand and shoulder some of the pain. While they know I will always be there for them should they need me, I can only hope I will never have to be. To expect a friend to go through this would be too much for me.

This "winter" has provided me with the drive and motivation to accomplish some very tangible goals and do them according to a timeframe. I think that's all you can do when life isn't going your way, focus on things you can control and do everything to accomplish those goals. So until then, I'll keep Adele on repeat and keep in mind that everyone faces their own personal challenges in life. That some good can come from even our darkest moments and in the end, we're always better off.

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Beat of My Drum

Nicola Roberts - Beat of My Drum

Above is my current song for summer, an awesome track recorded by Nicola Roberts (of Girls Aloud fame) and produced by Diplo (worked with Chris Brown, MIA, etc). It is the perfect song for summer, with its infectious beat and chant-like chorus. The perfect song to blast while driving with your windows down or laying by the pool.

Nicola comes from being the shy, "outcast" of Girls Aloud and has truly stepped into her own. She chose to not follow in bandmates Cheryl Cole and Nadine Coyle's footsteps of the R&B route and instead chose to make this little diddy, perfect for dance parties and lazy days alike. There's something about it; it gets in my head and leaves me singing "L.O.VE. Dance to the beat of my drum!" while sweeping the floors or walking to my car. I can already see myself getting ready with my girlfriends with Nicola's album, Cinderella's Eyes (out October 3rd) blaring.

If you haven't gone out and bought this lovely single, you need to do so. There's also an incredible b-side, Porcelain Heart, that is just as good if not better then the piece of pop perfection found above. So go check it out and thank me later.

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