"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul." --Ludwig Von Beethoven

Music has always been an integral part of my life. I remember road trips in which my family would chastise me for "singing" (alright, yelling) along with my Mary-Kate and Ashley cassette tapes, protesting that I was, indeed, the cute one. I remember my mother dragging me to piano lessons, all the while hating them because my fingers could barely reach past a third while my sister did so with ease. And I remember finding my niche with song writing and percussion. Over the years, my passion for music has grown and the need for it in my life has become apparent.

I find it interesting how we come back to what we know and enjoy when things aren't going our way, and even when they are. I had the most amazing vacation last week, spending time with my family who loves me and will always be there. Who gave me the most wonderful hugs and shared a thousand laughs with me. And even in those moments, when jokes and laughter were shared, I realized how important music is for me. To express how I'm feeling, to get certain thoughts out in the open or to even just celebrate and bask in the moment.

My darling cousin Madison and amazing Aunt Liz shared the song of my life right now, Bring Night by Sia. It's another perfect pop anthem to add to your summer playlist and for all those pop fans out there, I would be doing an injustice by not sharing it with you.

It's so simple and yet so entrancing. I can put it on and instantly get the biggest smile on my face. You should have seen me dancing around the condo like a eight year old, singing into my hair brush. But that's the amazing thing about music. It can make you forget all of your problems and take you to a completely different world where, for three minutes, you forget that bills are due on a Tuesday and you are suddenly single. It reminds you that anything is possible and that you still, very much, are capable of smiling like before.

And maybe it's not music for you, maybe it's playing basketball or reading a book, but I've found in those moments when it's just you, you really can find yourself. And music is what allows me to do that. I can only hope you know (or find) what it is that allows you to get to that same point.

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." --Roger Caras

It's been a week of trials and changes but it could not have ended with a better change. Once again, the light of my life, my sweet Teddy has absorbed the fluid in his abdomen. He looks like the 9 month puppy he should and I can't help smile when I look at him. Watching him prance down the sidewalk or go up the stairs is just what I needed.

I realized earlier, on our first walk of the day, that a person who always liked dogs but never had that kind of a connection with a dog, had found her doggie soulmate with Ted. I always knew it but today, walking in step with him, it was an aha moment. He knows my emotions and doesn't ask questions. He truly has made the transition and changes in my life these past few months easier and I cannot imagine what it would have been like had he not been there.

I can only hope the lack of fluid in his abdomen can give his liver what it needs to regenerate and help it become fully functional, though I know it is unwise. I will instead enjoy the time that I have my energetic puppy back and keep doing everything I can to keep him that way.

the love of my life

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“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” --Albert Camus

Obstacles, challenges, problems, they're all put in front of us to make us grow. To make us stronger. They break us down to make us come back as better people. And in the times of those crisis and challenges, all you can do is know that eventually, it will get better. Time truly heals everything, makes the bones mend in their special way and makes a seemingly broken person whole in a way they never were before.

But knowing you will come out the other end better than before doesn't make the journey any easier. There are too many roadblocks that threaten to trip you up and push you back down the path you just came from. You just have to remember that there is a purpose and an end to it all. You only learn about yourself when life is not going like you wanted. It's in those moments that you are challenged to find your way through the mess and come out the other end. To find the invincible summer inside yourself and know that you can get through anything.

My friends have been incredible these past few days, especially those I hadn't realized were there. Another blessing in those times of pain, discovering who is there to hold your hand and shoulder some of the pain. While they know I will always be there for them should they need me, I can only hope I will never have to be. To expect a friend to go through this would be too much for me.

This "winter" has provided me with the drive and motivation to accomplish some very tangible goals and do them according to a timeframe. I think that's all you can do when life isn't going your way, focus on things you can control and do everything to accomplish those goals. So until then, I'll keep Adele on repeat and keep in mind that everyone faces their own personal challenges in life. That some good can come from even our darkest moments and in the end, we're always better off.

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Beat of My Drum

Nicola Roberts - Beat of My Drum

Above is my current song for summer, an awesome track recorded by Nicola Roberts (of Girls Aloud fame) and produced by Diplo (worked with Chris Brown, MIA, etc). It is the perfect song for summer, with its infectious beat and chant-like chorus. The perfect song to blast while driving with your windows down or laying by the pool.

Nicola comes from being the shy, "outcast" of Girls Aloud and has truly stepped into her own. She chose to not follow in bandmates Cheryl Cole and Nadine Coyle's footsteps of the R&B route and instead chose to make this little diddy, perfect for dance parties and lazy days alike. There's something about it; it gets in my head and leaves me singing "L.O.VE. Dance to the beat of my drum!" while sweeping the floors or walking to my car. I can already see myself getting ready with my girlfriends with Nicola's album, Cinderella's Eyes (out October 3rd) blaring.

If you haven't gone out and bought this lovely single, you need to do so. There's also an incredible b-side, Porcelain Heart, that is just as good if not better then the piece of pop perfection found above. So go check it out and thank me later.

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The best show you're not watching

I have decided to do installments of what will be referred to as "The Best Show You're Not Watching." In each, I will review, that's right, the best shows you're not watching. And what makes them the best? Obviously the fact that I enjoy them to no end. So let's begin, shall we?

For this first installment I give you, Doctor Who. What's that? You've never heard of it? That sounds about right, most haven't. In fact, I wouldn't know of this little gem if it hadn't been for that wonderful gossip blog I read religiously, OhNoTheyDidn't (check it out if you're bored). After all the hooplah last year about a new "doctor", I was intrigued. What kind of show could generate this kind of discussion across the board? I learned the basics and sat down to watch the first episode of series (season in America) five.

Here's what you need to know. The Doctor is a Time Lord, an alien from another planet who is all alone. He travels through space and time in the Tardis, which looks like a Police Box on the outside. His tool of choice? A screwdriver. But not just any screwdriver, no, a sonic screwdriver. What exactly this means, I'm still not sure, but I will tell you the screwdriver seems capable of doing just about anything. So there you have it, the basics to Doctor Who.

Now, what makes this show so great isn't the fact that it's the longest running television show in the world (it's been going since the 60's!) but that fact that while it's technically a children's show, it's smart, witty and fun. It's quirky, comical and keeps you on edge, waiting and wanting more. Be prepared, the first episode you watch of this brilliant show will be a bit odd. You'll think, what exactly am I watching? But I guarantee that the end of that episode will do just enough to make you wonder what happens next for the Doctor and his companion and you'll tune into the next episode.

I highly recommend this show. The 6th series is currently showing on BBCAmerica, Saturdays at 9/8central. If you have netflix and the time, I would suggest going back and watching the 13 episodes of series 5. That's when the Doctor "regenerated" (a term they use to allow a new actor to come in and play the same character) and essentially a whole new show was born. If you already watch it, I would love to hear your thoughts/comments on the newest season!

Show: Doctor Who

Where: BBCAmerica

When: Saturdays 9/8central

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Those Winter Sundays
By Robert Hayden

Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I’d wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he’d call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,

Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love’s austere and lonely offices?

A dear family friend sent me that poem after my last post (see here: http://justemachance.blogspot.com/search/label/kate%20middleton) and I'm so glad he did. So many times it's the unseen, thankless acts that love is found in and so many times those go overlooked. Of course, once mentioned you think back and review/realize the little things in your life that were done out of love. Dinner on the table by 6, dishwasher unloaded, a dog taken out in the morning. He raises a good point, the unprovoked gestures and acts are most often the sweetest and most love-filled gestures out there. Those acts can be the simplest gesture, making the coffee in the morning or staying in on a Friday night, or the things that are larger in scale but slightly convoluted.

So the next time your sheets are washed or your car is full of gas, remember the love inside those gestures. It makes the little things so much more, and that much more special. And the next time you're wondering if the love is really there, just look back on those gestures to find your answer.

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"All it takes is Faith and Trust." --Peter Pan

It's been a while since a post and I'm going to blame it on my recent lack of anything post-worthy. That's not to say that exciting and good things haven't been happening, but I won't bore you with those thoughts and details. What is post-worthy? That's right, the Royal Wedding. Are you sick of hearing about it and seeing it all over the internet? Well, here's one more page that will bing when 'Royal Wedding' is searched.

Catherine Middleton and William of Wales have finally tied the knot. I remember being younger and having such a crush on Wills. He was so handsome even when he was young. And I remember when I learned about Kate Middleton. I expected them to break up and that I would eventually wind up in William's life. Well, that plan is obviously kaput and I am quite alright with that. I have found my new girl crush in Miss Middleton. She is both classy and trendy while being incredible traditional and has yet to do something that puts her in a negative light.

After watching the wedding, it was obvious that these two are absolutely in love and adore each other. Reading various articles and reports only confirm that notion, telling of how he was doting on her at the reception or how she never left his side. It's all terribly romantic but like most, I am curious to watch their relationship unfold. When polled, 9 out of 10 British women said they did not envy Kate, due to her inability to lead a normal life now. But when we're kids and even as we grow up, who thinks "I want a normal life" and who thinks "I want an exciting future"? Yes, Kate Middleton can no longer take a walk in the park or run to the grocery in busy London, but really, who wants to run errands?

That being said, Catherine did sacrifice everything for William. She essentially left the life she knew behind, although she had grown accustomed to the public eye since they have been dating for 8 years. But, as a royal, she can no longer vote or hold a job...well, she can but it's apparently frowned upon by the monarchy. Yes, she left normalcy behind but she did it for love. Men find marriage and commitment terrifying but it seems common that women will do what ever they have to for love. I'm not saying men won't go above and beyond but at the same time I wonder, would they? Maybe it's something that's hardwired into the female brain, maybe it's something we're surrounded with in culture and media, I have no idea but it raises the question, what would you do for the person you love?

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"You can't stay in your corner of the forest, waiting for others to come to you; you have to go to them sometimes." --Winnie the Pooh

Oh Pooh, you are so intelligent and so simplistic, which is honestly the best kind of intelligence. There are a lot of going ons in the family right now and it's made me stop and remember what it felt like when I decided to accept my current position in Oklahoma City and move to a whole new place. Not come here for a semester, or 8, but actually pick up and move here. Establish my life here. It still gets to me.

What is it that suddenly gives us the courage to embark on a new adventure? And maybe not even suddenly, maybe it's something you've wanted your whole life, but at the same time, that moment you realize that everything is going to change...it was one of the scariest of my life. But Pooh is right. You can't just stay where you are and expect things to happen, or change. They say you can't rest on your laurels and they're right. If you become complacent with "the norm" it can't get better. It was always only ever be the same. And, coming from a person who has hated change these past few weeks, I think I would hate a stagnant life even more.

I wanted to write a post about the things in my new life that I love and couldn't live without, as it seems most of my posts of late have consisted of my whining (sorry about that, but what is a blog really for?!). So here we go.

1) Income. Having a way to pay for the things I need and not have to pull it from my savings.

2) Having my own place. I am loving coming home to my place and doing whatever I want to do. Eating whatever I want for dinner. Knowing I can laze on the couch and answer to no one.

3) The boyfriend. Let's be honest, it's been great being able to see him more than once or twice a month. I'll leave it at that ;-)

4) The weather. Oh my do I love Oklahoma weather, especially considering the fact that back in Texas I'd probably be swimming everytime I walked outside.

5) A cold beer on a ________ night. This is similar to #2 but I can't help giving bud light it's own spot on my list. Coming home and knowing I can sip a brewski after a rather hard day (or even an easy one).

Granted there are more, but these are the top (okay, first) five that came to mind when writing. I'm sure more will come as my time here continues.

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Hair dye gone awry

Well, it's happened and this is my story of the hair dye gone awry. I am lucky to be able to say that up to this point, I have never had a truly horrendous hair dye mishap but honestly, tonight's takes the cake.

Let's be honest. I bought the dye because A) I have wanted red hair since, oh the first episode of Alias back in 8th grade and B) the ends of my hair had lost the color I put it them two months ago. So my thought process was, why not? I did the ends per usual, making sure it wasn't just two separate shades of brown then this red. After I washed that out and blow-dried it, I realized I loved the color and wanted to go for it, use the rest on the rest of my hair and try to get a BOOM red.

Well, apparently BOOM red literally means BOOM THIS PART IS RED. That's right, the top of my head has two very distinct sections of red against the brown. It's my own fault for not applying it evenly. I was trying to be "creative" and "weave" the color in like highlights but now I just feel like a 6th grade girl who had chunks of highlights.

I love Revlon Colorsilk. For someone who loves to dye her hair, the $2.99 price tag is awesome. The Luminista pictured above, the color I used, was about a dollar more expensive and in all honesty, I didn't read the box. Had I, I would have know that the Luminista brand is intended to color darker shades of hair i.e. me. But again, who really thinks that all hair dye is not created equal? Apparently, they aren't.

Let me just say that I will absolutely be using this brand again, probably Sunday when I pick out a brown to try and cover up the mess I made tonight. Unless it fades and looks blended at which point I'll probably keep it. So, to any ladies (or gents) out there thinking about this hair dye, be wary! This stuff delivers regardless of the darkness of your hair! With that in mind, I definitely recommend it.

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(One of) My Best Friend's Wedding

I will be the first to admit that I am so incredibly lucky to have to distinguish between "one of" and "my" best friend's wedding. On top of that, I'm so lucky and blessed to be able to be apart from my best friends for days, weeks, months at a time and have it feel like no time has passed when we come together again. That's what I got to experience this weekend.

My dear friend Kristen finally married her long time beau and honorary member of our club, Brady. It was a beautiful wedding, she was a beautiful bride and I know all in attendance had a wonderful time. The weirdest part? Watching one of my best friends, whom I have grown and shared so much with since high school, marry her soulmate and truly take that step from youth to adult. I knew we were "adults" now, but it's the wedding and marriage that makes it all real, makes it official to me. Not the working an 8-5 job or having a college degree, but knowing she's got that ring on her finger and has found the man she's going to spend the rest of her life with. When did this happen?!

There was a plethora of emotions floating around this weekend. Excitement, happiness, relief, sadness, but not all were due to the wedding. Going home, back to the place I grew up and finding my room essentially gutted was an intense onslaught of feelings. I knew it would happen but I don't think there's anyway to prepare for it. That room was my sanctuary for so long, that game room filled with memories, those stairs run down from the laps I made everyday. It was weird being back and knowing, even though it will always be a home, the place I grew up, it wasn't the same. It wasn't even the same as it was in college, when I would venture home for Christmas and Summer break. Of course, even then it took a lot of time to get used to the change. I remember crying every time I drove back to school freshman year, back when I would make the 800 mile trek one way every month. I would cry as my parents waved goodbye when I pulled out of the driveway and be on my way. Then, as school went on, I went home less frequently and found myself being more excited and ready to get back to school. Back to where my life was happening. It's the time thing that I need and we all know, you can't rush time when you want to.

I'll say it time and time again, knowing full well that saying and believing are two very different things, time fixes things, heals all wounds and generally makes things better. But there's that double edged sword again because time changes things.

I never had an idea for what this blog would end up being. It was only ever intended to be an outlet for me to get thoughts off my chest and possibly provide a different view to the life after college. To vent about the frustrations of being unable to secure a job after graduating and now, the frustrations of that first, full-time position. But today, I realized the only thing I want people to get out of this is to enjoy where you are or what you're doing.

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But look at who's right beside you

When you're alone barely holding on

You leave your worries behind you

You're not alone in the dark

--Alexz Johnson

I love Alexz Johnson's voice. It is incredible so if you're needing new music, go check out her newest single Look At Those Eyes off her soon to be re-released album, Voodoo. The lyrics above ring true and I encourage you to think about your last moment of sadness or your last few days of upset. The ones that stuck beside you, even when you were whining about the same thing, unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel? They're the ones this blog post is dedicated to.

I have an incredible support group and I thank God for it everyday. Sometimes, i.e. lately, I get annoyed because they're not around and I count on them and need them as much as I do. These are the people that will tell me the same thing over and over in different ways, or listen to me rant and vent over and over about the same thing and still be at the other end of the line.

And these are the people that you don't realize are in your support circle until you find your way to each other again. When they send you a random text to hang out on a Saturday night or help you narrow down your desires and goals in the workplace and what kind of a job you're really looking for. They're the ones that make you realize you're not really as alone as you feel.

I wish there was more time in the day. 26 hours would do it. I feel like I could get a lot done with an extra two hours in the evening, finish the dishes and get some of my thoughts down on paper with some guitar chords to accompany them. I miss having time to do that. I suppose I still need to settle into a routine and once that happens, I'll find some extra time at night to write a quick song or chapter in a book. I leave you with a link to the incredible song quoted above....

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Belvedere makes the world a better place

No quote today and no rambling about how I can't seem to deal with what's happening to my life. Nope, today is something different. Today, I am going to express my undying love and devotion to Belvedere.

I am a vodka girl through and through. I've had occasional flings with other alcoholic beverages, smirnoff coolers or that needy pest tequila but vodka and I have been together now for a while. It essentially goes with anything and still tastes amazing. Plus, vodka has fewer calories when compared to other liquors AND Belvedere only has 64 in 1 ounce.

But I'm not just in this relationship for the low(er) calorie count. I'm in it for the taste and the enjoyment I get out of spending time with good ole Belvedere. As a connoisseur of vodka/waters, I've had my fair share with various vodkas. First there was Smirnoff, then I progressed to Sky then, when I was feeling rich I would splurge on Absolut. All of these are great, although Absolut always gave me the worst hangover, regardless of how much I drank, but then I discovered the greatness that is Belvedere.

There is something about it that makes it blend perfectly with whatever you choose. My first vodka/water with this heavenly gift was like drinking lemon lime water with a taste that you can't put your finger on but love nonetheless. In fact, I have had to force myself to stop drinking them in a night because I don't want to become intoxicated. They just taste so good that I want more. I suppose I could say the same thing about chocolate...

And now I must ask due to burning curiosity, what is your favorite drink? Why?

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