A Captain's Duty: Somali Pirates, Navy SEALS, and Dangerous Days at Sea

I am an avid reader, if you haven't gathered that from the umpteen number of times I've mentioned finishing a book. Recently, my best friend Rose recommended I read "A Captain's Duty" written by Captain Richard Phillips and thank goodness she did. It's an incredible story and reading his first hand account of being held captive by Somali Pirates is riveting.

A 30 year vet, Captain Phillips was a merchant mariner who had completed multiple trips through the Gulf of Aden, but it wasn't until 2009 that he experienced his first, and last, run in with pirates. I'll be the first to say that I'm very rarely a non-fiction reader. I can do biographies when I know the person or have a fondness for the subject matter, but I had never heard of Captain Phillips or had a love for the sea. But, Rose told me it was amazing and I listened to her, so now I'm telling you to do the same.

The biggest thing I took from this book was that you truly don't know who you are or what you're capable of. Phillips mentions over and over again how he wanted his whole ordeal to be over, even if it meant death. To give up and give in, but at the lowest of those moments, he thought of his family and knew he had to push through it. Not that he could push through it, but that he would regardless.

Throughout the book, the reader is shown how incredibly selfless this man is. He became a merchant mariner to see the world, then through his years and experience, earned the position of Captain. He understood what the title and the pay meant, and did all he could to protect his crew and keep them safe, including sacrificing himself.

Ultimately, A Captain's Duty is a book I couldn't put down. I loved the suspense, wondering how he was going to handle the different situations, and being able to completely visualize what Richard Phillips was experiencing as each hour passed, even though I've never been on a cargo ship like his. I loved that he included what was happening to his family and his wife while he was held captive, what they were experiencing and feeling. But, in my opinion, the best part about this book is how it can resonate with anyone (and I say this as a 25 year old female who has been on one cruise) and leave an impression. Here I am, a week later, still thinking about this book and his experiences and how, though I will most likely never be in a situation that demands me to offer myself to Somali pirates, I hope should I ever have to, I could exhibit half the composure and bravery that this man was forced to exude.

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After revisiting the wonders of Happy Endings: Season One (seriously check it out, even though the show has been cancelled), I was inspired to analyze the two break up styles utilized by everyone, including yours truly and even the writers of that phenomenal show.

If you're reading this, odds are you've been in a relationship or dated someone. And if that's the case, you've experienced what I refer to as The Conversation, or the infamous Petering Out. When it comes to dating, or the end of dating someone, there are only two ways to end things (see above). Obviously The Conversation forces the person to fess up and be honest with the other person, which for some people is great. Petering Out is the road more often traveled when things were kept pretty light and casual, the eventual fading out of the other person's life. The span between calls, hang outs, and texts grows until they finally stop. No potentially awkward conversation or confrontation, just easing out of it.

The question is, which is better?

Obviously, certain situations demand specifics. You say you've been in a relationship for a year? I swear, if you try to Peter Out I will find you and slap you. You better be writing that speech and be prepared to sit down and converse. You've only been on a few dates? Absolutely let that slide; the other will get over it.

But what about that murky in between? It never got that serious but lasted for a bit, you got pretty close. Or what if you run in the same circle of friends? You know you'll see the other person again, so which route do you take? Do you chance petering out even though you're inevitably going to talk again or do you give them the speech and hope it negates any future awkwardness?

In the span of writing this, I've gone back and forth on which I prefer more times than I've used question marks (go back and count them, it's a lot). I'm a fan of The Conversation because, even though it could be uncomfortable (is there ever a situation like this in which it's not?), both parties know that nothing more is going to happen. It's done, kaput, finito. You could also make it quick and rip that band-aid off; "I don't think we should see each other anymore" or the classic "This just isn't going to happen, but you're great!" click. Perhaps the best way to approach the conversation is looking at it from a timeline - avoid awkward face to face rejection and do it on the phone if you've gone out on a handful of dates. Otherwise, it's probably progressed enough that you should do it face to face.

As more time has elapsed, I think Petering Out is what you reserve for the casual encounters that could have amounted to something but one of you, or both of you, aren't wanting to take it there. Or maybe you realize the other person is not your cuppa tea and since it was never that serious, you decide to just let it slowly fall through the cracks. I think I'd save this card for the interactions in the I-met-you-randomly-and-will-never-see-you-after-this category and move on.

Note: I have recently been informed of Ghosting, in which one person simply vanishes from the radar. A few dates in and boom, silence. I think I almost like the idea of Ghosting more than Petering Out, only because, unless a rock is smarter than you, you realize the silence from the person who once responded is due to them not being interested. But if you're going to do that, you might as well have The Conversation and get it over with. Otherwise, it's guaranteed to be awkward the next time you run into each other post-Ghost.

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Top 10 Worst Feelings

Today, instead of delving into ten things that stink (or rock) for a certain sex, I'm going to expand upon the ten worst feelings known to mankind. Of course, as this is my blog, this list reflects my attempt at humorous opinions.

1.) Swollen lymph nodes. There are few things worse than the pain felt when you wake up in the morning and in attempt to get rid of that morning breath in your mouth, swallow only to feel discomfort in your throat. You would think after all these years, our bodies would find a painless way to produce white blood cells...

2.) Losing a bet. Maybe this is just me and the fact that I hate to lose, but having to concede to a friend when you were positive you would win is just the worst. Especially when the winner rubs your face in it, or even  when they don't.

3.) Paper cuts. Those little snitches hurt! And then you can't find them to put a band-aid on (and why would you? It's just a paper cut, man!) so should soap, hand sanitizer or anything at all get on it, shooting pain rears its ugly head.

4.) When your drink goes down the wrong tube. I do this all the time and those 20 seconds of trying to clear your throat is awful. Plus, spending the next hour clearing the phlegm out of your throat is plain annoying.

5.) Waking up from an absolutely terrifying nightmare and not being able to fall back asleep. Or worse, falling back asleep and going right back into the nightmare. Me and my five year old imagination cannot handle this.

6.) Hangnails. Another one of those little things that cause a stupid amount of pain, especially when they go Black Swan style and rip halfway up your finger.

7.) Making a pot of coffee on a beautiful Saturday morning to find you have no creamer. Note: I don't keep milk or sugar in my house because I rarely use it, so this would render my coffee pot, and subsequent plans to read on my front porch, meaningless.

8.) When your morning alarm goes off on a holiday. If only you had remembered to turn that bad boy off, you would be sleeping soundly and waking up leisurely. Instead, you lay there cursing your phone for not taking into consideration the fact that Arbor Day just might warrant taking the morning off.

9.) Realizing you're out of toilet paper a second too late.
Then, any amount of time is too much as you figure out your next course of action.

10.) The moment you discover that email or text you just sent was to the wrong person. There's nothing quite like professing your love of someone to a girlfriend and realizing you sent it to him. Or better yet, venting about someone and seeing their name fell into the 'To' box as well.

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Childlike Excitement

I know we all have had those moments of longing for our youth. The innocence and the carefree nature of being a kid. Not having bills to pay and getting to play on a playground for thirty minutes a day. Now, it sounds like the life. Back then, all we wanted was to be adults. I was scrolling through a fantastic post on Buzzfeed, 25 Things That Will Make You Smile , and was confronted with this wonderful video of Madeline. I had seen it before, as I'm sure you have, but couldn't keep from clicking 'play'.

I cannot keep a smile on my face when I see this video, partly because I was her as a child and partly because I love her excitement. I was obsessed with trains as a kid and can remember taking my first train ride with my family. Staring out the window in pure bliss while the wheels rolled beneath me. It was incredible. I love that the arrival of a train made this little girl so happy. I miss that; the childlike excitement over something adults wouldn't bat an eye over. That wonder when everything is new you just want to experience it again and again.

Sure, I still have moments like these, most recently when a friend told me she's tight with Hanson (straight up child excitement right there) and I freaked out. In a bar. My point is, I wish I took more time out of my day to look at the simple, everyday things through the eyes of a child. Appreciating a beautiful sunrise or thunderstorm, getting so invested in a movie or book that at the end, you just sit there, still enthralled in that world. So here's my challenge to you, much loved readers. Take a moment everyday to let one thing bring as much happiness into your life as little Madeline at the train station. That's your Try This Thursday.

"The end of childhood is when things cease to astonish us.  When the world seems familiar, when one has got used to existence, one has become an adult" 

--Eugene Ionesco

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30 for 30: Day 1

This past Monday, I splurged for one of the first times in my adult life. And by splurged I mean splurged. I bought myself a treadmill, off Craigslist of course, and got it set-up in the third bedroom of my house. Getting it in the room was a feat in itself, so now that it's ready to go, I'm ready to roll.

One thing to know about me, I'm frugal. So frugal that it took me over a year to convince myself to buy the damn machine, and because of that frugality, I've created a new challenge for myself to validate the purchase.

30 for 30 (shout out, ESPN!)

For the next 30 days, I will use the treadmill for at least 30 minutes a day. It can be walking, running, hills, walk/runs, whatever. I just have to be on it for at least 30 minutes for 30 days. Seems easy enough, right? Let's see.

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10 Things

I had an idea this morning, upon experience #1, to make lists documenting the good, the bad and the ugly for each sex. We'll see how long this post series will last...That being said, I give you:

10 Things that Stink for Girls

1.) Going to bed with amazing looking hair and waking up to find it looking awful. Like a bird decided to co-habitat with a squirrel in your hair.

2.) Getting all the way to work in a skirt and realizing that your leg hair grew at an alarming rate. When in doubt, shave. Or be that girl who carries pantyhose in her purse (do they even exist?).

3.) Doing your hair, then stepping outside to find humidity has taken over and you just wasted ten minutes of your morning. Weather 1, Females 0.

4.) Painting your nails and then immediately having to go to the bathroom.

5.) Having a ten minute talk with your crush and then finding out you had lipstick on your teeth the whole time. Revlon 1, Females -1.

6.) Taking off eye makeup. This is probably one of the things I hate the most about going to bed. Sure, I don't have to do it, but when I get lazy, I lay in bed thinking of my eyelashes caking together to form a giant glob on each eye and eventually get out of bed to do this abhorred task.  

7.) Wearing a new pair of shoes and getting a blister within the first thirty minutes. Nothing says you're going to be the whiniest person in an hour more than crummy shoes and no band aids. (Sidenote: I think men are genetically programmed to have incredibly thick skin on their feet. Do they ever get blisters?!)

8.) Tweezing your eyebrows; it's like sticking yourself with a safety pin over and over.  Very similar to number 6 in that, I don't have have to do it but frankly, I don't like the look of waxed eyebrows when those little nugget hairs start growing back in and are too small to tweeze. It just looks weird.

9.) Dressing up to go out. Yes, women love getting all dolled up but when I am going out, I don't want to have to spend an hour contemplating what I'm going to wear, after which point I will inevitably exclaim that I have nothing to wear. Sure, I could pick something at random, but even guys don't do that.

10.) Wearing heels. Ever. Yes, we inflict this upon ourselves and yes, we feel sexier when we wear them but regardless, heels bite. We will tell you we have a pair that are "so comfortable" that we could "wear for hours" but that's complete BS. Sure, I have a pair of heels I can wear to work, but you make me stand at a bar for extended periods of time and I'm out. Enjoy those sneakers, boys.


Please note: I did everything I could to exclude anything applicable to both sexes (pimples, sweating, etc) as well as things that are completely out of our control (hello mother nature).

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Things I don't know

I'm almost two months into my 25th year of life and am 100% not where I thought I would be. I'm okay with that, I'm rolling with the punches and riding that rollercoaster of life, but looking back, I got to thinking about happiness and satisfaction. I think it's great that we as human beings are always pushing the limits, trying to be better and do better, but it makes me wonder, are we ever truly satisfied? 

This past year, I said multiple times how incredibly happy I was with where my life had taken me. I had great friends, a job at a company I loved going to work for 40+ hours a week and a dog that I loved more than all of that. That being said, I got to a point where I was ready for the next step in my career and subsequently took it. I now work for one of 30 NBA teams and I absolutely love it, but reflecting on 2012, I know I'll get to a point where this stepping stone needs to be left behind. Why is it our satisfaction is only fleeting? I know we change constantly, so our goals must change, but I hate the idea that lasting satisfaction isn't really lasting. Can we ever be completely satisfied while still wanting more? Or are we constantly working to attain another level of satisfaction, like rescuing the elusive Princess Peach after those stupid Goomba's constantly evaded Mario's grasp?

Maybe I need to make a point to think of satisfaction as a brief result, something concrete. A medal or cookie that you enjoy as you bask in your awesomeness of a job well done. It's the reward you get for finally accomplishing something, which should be good enough for me. So if you think of satisfaction as a tangible noun, it's great. You can attain it and keep it up on the shelf for as long as you want. If you think of it as a feeling, well, good luck trying to maintain it and major kudos if you do. Am I alone in these thoughts or have you been one of the lucky few who have actually had lasting satisfaction?

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I shouldn't have...

I'm really quite good at starting something on this ol' blog and not continuing it, or continuing it with a lack of frequency (try this thursday, things I don't know, etc). So, to encourage that streak, I have come up with another series of posts entitled "I shouldn't have..." in which I will share things that I shouldn't have done (or did you reach that conclusion already?).

I shouldn't have ever started drinking beer. Before you get huffy and tell me that almost everyone has said that at some point in their life, let me explain. When I was a fresh faced twenty one year old, I found out pretty quickly that I didn't like beer. I was a Texan going to school in Oklahoma and didn't drink beer. My roommates, my friends, everyone in college drank beer and believe you me, I tried, it just wasn't happening. The first time I had beer, we were playing quarters, that terrible game where you bounce a quarter into a bowl (who thinks of these things?). Well, I lost. And had to chug a cereal bowl of Michelob Ultra. Let me interrupt by saying even now, in my very bias mind there is no worse beer than Michelob Ultra. So, I try to chug this bowl of light beer and immediately have to stop to catch my breath and hold back heaves. Everyone cheers me on, telling me it's "just beer" and "it's so light, it's like water" while I just roll my eyes and hold my breath, attempting once more to drink. I never finished that bowl of beer.

Fast forward to my time spent studying abroad in gay old Paris. Everything is more expensive in Paris, and couple that with the exchange rate for the dollar, everything is even more expensive in Paris. As a young woman living abroad, I went out. I encouraged friends to venture to The Hideout, as they had 4 euro mojitos and I would actually enjoy sipping those concoctions, but I couldn't always win. Then one, life changing night, we ventured to bar where Stella Artois on tap was 2 euros. 2 EUROS. I couldn't believe my eyes - an alcoholic beverage so cheap in the heart of Paris? I would make myself like it, gosh darn it. So I drank. And I drank. I was surprised to find it tasted so light, so watery. Could it be? Was I finally a beer drinker?

No, I was not. There must have been something special in that keg of Stella that night because, for the remaining 5 months I spent in Paris, I never found a Stella I liked. Then, I returned to the United States and to my college for my senior year. I was determined to take my experiences with beer from abroad and put them to use, and boy did I ever. I found that Bud Light was even lighter than Stella and now, it tasted like water. Like a sweet, heavenly water. So I drank. And drank. And let's be honest, I haven't stopped since. I love beer and I hate that I love it so much. I wish I had stuck to vodka and girly drinks, because then I'd never have to worry about beer calories or beer drinking the guys under the table. I shouldn't have ever been so eager to drink beer.

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Try This Thursday

First off, let me say this blog post was never intended to be written. It was never even an idea until today, approximately two hours ago. Moving on. Today I want to share the best stain remover. Ever.

I do laundry like all males in that I don't separate my whites from my colors because hey, I'm washing everything on cold anyways so why does it matter? Well, now I know to never wash anything light with a red blazer. That practically brand new white button up shirt that goes with just about everything emerged from the washer with splotches of red, matching the color of my face as my blood began to boil. I have literally worn this shirt twice and now it was donezo? Absolutely not.

Immediately, I threw some bleach into a bowl with some water and let that shirt soak. Three minutes later, submerged it in a bowl of water and smushed it around a bit to get the bleach off. Then I threw that bad boy into a bowl of water + hydrogen peroxide to help get all the bleach off. Ten minutes and another rinse later, I was fully expecting to see a perfectly white shirt. No dice.

Dish soap, just like these!

Then I remembered my mother sharing her infinite wisdom last year when oil spilled on my white jeans after their first outing (I'm seeing a pattern here...). She told me to rub dish soap on the spot and it would come out. So I opted to try this method once again, and much to my chagrin, it worked. I was then left to scrub the crud out of my shirt for a good 60 minutes before I finally gave in. Everything came out, or lightened up, but leaning over a sink for an hour resulted in me dying to sit and leave a few spots still slightly visible.

So the next time you have a pesky stain that won't come out, or you're freaking out because you just bought that dress, use some liquid dish soap and your hand to scrub that sucker out. And the next time you see me in a white button up, tell me it looks great and shockingly white.

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Try This Thursday

I have a hundred and more ideas for Try This Thursday, and yes, that might be a slight exaggeration. Regardless, I decided today to stop thinking of the ideas and finally write them down. For Christmas dinner this year, we broke our normal tradition and decided to bring Texas eatin' to California. Mom was under the weather so I'm proud to say I did a lot of the cooking. I wanted green beans with bacon cooked alongside, Dad wanted a form of mac 'n cheese and we all wanted mashed potatoes. I found a recipe online for the green beans, the taters would be easy enough, and Mom said "We'll just do pasta shells with some cheese" to which my jaw dropped and a gasp escaped my lips. "What is the point of Pinterest, Mother, if we do not utilize the recipes?" I asked, 93% serious. I then proceeded to show her my board of recipes (yes, 7 whole pins on that bad boy) that contained 3 different mac 'n cheese concoctions. I picked the following and made it.

White Cheddar and Parmesan Mac 'n Cheese

16 oz macaroni pasta (any shape shape you like)
1/2 C butter
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 C flour
3 1/2 C milk, warmed
1/4 C white wine (or sub w/chicken broth)
1/2 lb Velveeta cheese, cubed
1/2 lb cheddar, cubed
1/2 C panko bread crumbs
1 Tbl parsley
2 Tbl butter, melted

Note: the second I opened this recipe, I almost closed it. That's way too many ingredients for this novice chef. Then I thought, in the spirit of Christmas, why not. 

Per the website linked above, I cooked the pasta 2-3 minutes less than normal. While that was going, I focused my efforts on the sauce. Butter, salt and pepper melt, then you add the flour. That mixture was a little grainy and thick, which was the first time I thought I did something wrong (many more to follow). Then, I nuked the milk and added it along with 1/4 cup chicken broth (my Dad isn't a big wine fan) to the flour mixture. At this point, it was thin and I knew I did something wrong. The recipe told me to boil the bad boy and whisk away, so I did just that, and sure enough, it thickened. I did burn the bottom while trying to get the stuff to boil, so keep that heat on a medium to low setting. 

We used velveeta and Raw Milk Cheddar Cheese from the good ol' Trader Joe's down the street. Threw that into the pot and stirred. At some point, I drained the noodles and put them back in their pot, waiting for the sauce to be completely melted and smooth. Finally, that happened and into the pot of noodles it went. This was then put into a glass pan, with the bread crumbs and butter mixture sprinkled on top. Cooked it for 30 and out it came. Staring at the steaming pan of goodness, my first thought was, "I should have halved the recipe." I contemplated at the beginning, but my love for mac 'n cheese won out and I made the whole thing. The three of us ate one row. One row. We now have this heavenly creation coming out of our ears, but I don't mind. 

We ate this with brisket, which was perfect because the macaroni is incredibly rich and the brisket's subtle flavor gave your taste buds a break. The recipe makes a very cheesy macaroni; I'd be hard pressed to find a shell that wasn't loaded down with cheese. So, all in all, an amazing recipe. The preparation took ~20 minutes and was perfect to make first, as it was baking while I worked on the green beans. Keep in mind this makes a lot of mac 'n cheese and, while you think you'll grab seconds, you probably won't. If I can make this, and get happy head nods from my parents while they chewed and grinned, anyone can.

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I have this really weird love and obsession with taking pictures of paths. Walking paths, trails in woods, roads left forgotten, all of them. I have absolutely no idea what it is about them that seems so aesthetically pleasing to me, but when I see a good path, I have to take a picture of it. I am sure I have hundreds of pictures of random trails scattered around my computers and extra hard drives, such as the one to the right. I took this in the beautiful Big Bend National Park as my father and I embarked on our hike to Emory's Peak, the tallest point in the park. I remember being so thrilled that the sun had finally come out and loved the shadows in the front with the mountains in the back. It's by no means an exceptional photograph that's going to win me any accolades for my fantastic ability to click a button, but I think it's beautiful and surprisingly comforting. I took the picture to the left in Bois de Vincennes when I studied in Paris. I loved both Bois de Boulogne and Bois de Vincennes, but I will say I loved the latter more (possibly because there weren't any hookers waiting to pounce from the bushes). It was greener and the trees reminded me of Houston, but I think the key reason boils down to the paths. There was no rhyme or reason, at least not to me, where they were going or where you'd end up if you followed them, but they were beautiful. I can't even tell you how many times I got lost wandering around (longest run to date - 2 and a half hours spent running around, trying to find the metro stop I got there on!) but you better believe I always had my camera on me.

Am I the only one who finds incredible peace in the pictures above? I could be having an awful day and be completely unsure of where my life is going, but for some reason, looking at the pictures above make me think I can do anything (super cheesy, I know). I think it's the fact that, in the pictures, you see a segment of the path, but not the end, just like your life right now. Sure, the part you're walking on might be rough and twisted, with overgrown foliage blocking your view, but around the next bend could be an opening to the most beautiful sight you've seen yet. I knew there had to be some deep reason I take all those pictures....

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Unsolicited advice, part II

In just over 2 months, I will hit the quarter of a century mark and enter the second half of my twenties. I'm only looking forward to this because, if you know me at all you know, I love my birthday. I love an entire day about me. Granted, I'm the only one who celebrates it that way and to others, December 6th is simply the day before Pearl Harbor was attacked. So, in honor of the proximity of this special day and the fact that list making is on my mind (birthday lists don't just make themselves, people!), I have decided to share with you the top ten things I have learned from my early twenties and/or advice for your early twenties, in no particular order.

un: Blondes do not have more fun. This is an absolute myth that has been proven wrong by yours truly. All blondes have is the tendency to get bad roots and dried out hair because really, when was the last time you saw a natural blonde in their twenties?

deux: The person you think you are at 20 is not the person you are going to be. At all. Okay, maybe a little bit of you will stay the same (ideals, morals, etc) but your personality will change as you start to come to terms with behaviors you can't stand and people you do (and don't) want to be around. Maybe a breakup will cause you to lose all inhibition, maybe a book will inspire you to learn a new language and move to a new country, but regardless, you will change. It's only 5 years but so much will happen to shape who you are.

trois: Those days of making friends with everyone in the room are long gone, and that's okay. We're not supposed to get along with everyone because we're all so different and the second you stop trying to please everyone, you'll be a much happier person. And remember, people change so if someone you liked three years ago does nothing but annoy you now, cut the cord and move on.

quatre:  While friends are necessary, take time to be alone. This is the time in your life when no one else is completely dependent on you, so if you want to go see that movie, do it. If you want to spend two hours running at the lake, do it. Do not tie your life to someone else just yet, enjoy your independence.

cinq: Get a pet. Cat, dog, fish, I don't care, but get an animal. I had a beta fish in college that I named B. Ausmus and I loved him. He lived for a year until a sneaky parasite got into his stomach and made him look pregnant. I have a dog now and, both pets have made me a better person. More responsible, less selfish. Having someone who depends on you completely and can't talk is a challenge and incredibly rewarding. (Yes, it sounds like it goes against point quatre, but a pet can't talk so essentially you can still be alone.)

six: Live with a roommate at least once. Yes, everyone likes their own space and their own bathroom, but you learn a lot about yourself when you're living with someone else. It also forces you to be cleaner and more understanding, plus it'll help you figure out what compliments you in terms of a housemate/spouse.

sept: Be healthy, but don't obsess. Obsession leads to bad things that make everyone unhappy. You will never be 100% happy with your body (I know no matter what I do, I can't change the length of my second toes) but once you accept that, you can start enjoying being healthy and active for the right reasons. When it's not about losing weight or looking "perfect", it's a lot more fun.

huit: Your parents really did know what they were talking about. Call them, keep in touch; they will be your best source of advice for life and everything it chooses to throw at you. Plus, their ability to lie is limited.

neuf: Mistakes are mandatory. You're going to make them, and you're going to make a lot of them. The question is how are you going to deal with them? Don't be afraid of them, they will teach you more than doing something right the first time, and they will stick with you.

dix: You will never stop learning. The tests, papers, and quizzes may stop but you will learn something everyday. It may be something about you, a historical figure, or even a new word, but regardless, there is always knowledge to be attained and a brain that can soak it up. Enjoy learning, odds are it will make you a better person.

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