Sunday, January 13, 2013

I shouldn't have...

I'm really quite good at starting something on this ol' blog and not continuing it, or continuing it with a lack of frequency (try this thursday, things I don't know, etc). So, to encourage that streak, I have come up with another series of posts entitled "I shouldn't have..." in which I will share things that I shouldn't have done (or did you reach that conclusion already?).

I shouldn't have ever started drinking beer. Before you get huffy and tell me that almost everyone has said that at some point in their life, let me explain. When I was a fresh faced twenty one year old, I found out pretty quickly that I didn't like beer. I was a Texan going to school in Oklahoma and didn't drink beer. My roommates, my friends, everyone in college drank beer and believe you me, I tried, it just wasn't happening. The first time I had beer, we were playing quarters, that terrible game where you bounce a quarter into a bowl (who thinks of these things?). Well, I lost. And had to chug a cereal bowl of Michelob Ultra. Let me interrupt by saying even now, in my very bias mind there is no worse beer than Michelob Ultra. So, I try to chug this bowl of light beer and immediately have to stop to catch my breath and hold back heaves. Everyone cheers me on, telling me it's "just beer" and "it's so light, it's like water" while I just roll my eyes and hold my breath, attempting once more to drink. I never finished that bowl of beer.

Fast forward to my time spent studying abroad in gay old Paris. Everything is more expensive in Paris, and couple that with the exchange rate for the dollar, everything is even more expensive in Paris. As a young woman living abroad, I went out. I encouraged friends to venture to The Hideout, as they had 4 euro mojitos and I would actually enjoy sipping those concoctions, but I couldn't always win. Then one, life changing night, we ventured to bar where Stella Artois on tap was 2 euros. 2 EUROS. I couldn't believe my eyes - an alcoholic beverage so cheap in the heart of Paris? I would make myself like it, gosh darn it. So I drank. And I drank. I was surprised to find it tasted so light, so watery. Could it be? Was I finally a beer drinker?

No, I was not. There must have been something special in that keg of Stella that night because, for the remaining 5 months I spent in Paris, I never found a Stella I liked. Then, I returned to the United States and to my college for my senior year. I was determined to take my experiences with beer from abroad and put them to use, and boy did I ever. I found that Bud Light was even lighter than Stella and now, it tasted like water. Like a sweet, heavenly water. So I drank. And drank. And let's be honest, I haven't stopped since. I love beer and I hate that I love it so much. I wish I had stuck to vodka and girly drinks, because then I'd never have to worry about beer calories or beer drinking the guys under the table. I shouldn't have ever been so eager to drink beer.


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