Wednesday, February 16, 2011

"The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself."--Carrie Bradshaw

Family. As a person who has gone from living on her own to living back with her parents, I completely understand the annoyed side of the equation mentioned above. But I've been blessed with a family that I wholeheartedly, unconditionally love and I make a point to recognize that.

But the thing that struck me about this quote is that family has all the meanings you want it to have. I have my Houston family, I had my Norman family, with the six of us cooking Sunday dinners and playing hide and seek when the power went out. I have my besties, I have my second family of two sweet angel children and two of the best parents I know. Lately, I've had to make a point to remind myself just how blessed and lucky I am. It's not something I forget easily but with what's going on it's easy to take it for granted.

Why is it that the people that love us unconditionally are the ones that tend to get on our nerves? Is it because they say the things others won't? And why is it then, that the people who will always be there for us are the ones we always seem to be so eager to leave? You book it out of the house after high school and hope that you can live on your own from that point on.

It's interesting to me to watch this family dynamic all the while keeping this in mind. And while you might be ready to rip your hair out in frustration from something a family member said, it's important to remember just how lucky you are that they're around.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Something's gotta give

What is it about relationships that get us all worked up? We turn into a different person, we want different things. Maybe this isn't everyone, maybe it's just me but something's gotta give.

The above statement is A) the result of letting my fingers type out exactly what my mind tells them at the exact time it says it and B) absolutely terrifying. Looking over said statement I wonder, is that true? Have I made a rudimentary mistake and let my relationship change who I am? And if so, why do we let this happen?

They say great people, acts or events can change us and if that's true, great. So why is it that people say they won't let a relationship change who they are? I remember talking with girlfriends, saying I wouldn't let a boy change me for anything, but what is the harm in this? If he changes me for the better, shouldn't we embrace that with open arms? When did it become frowned upon to change during and post relationship?

Personally, I think this fear of change stems from the belief that if you change who you are, the relationship isn't real. Which is true, to some extent. Doing a complete 180 for the other person isn't healthy and won't lead to a prosperous relationship, but some changes can make a person better. Realizing you need to be more vocal about your wants can benefit not only your relationship but your life. Learning that it's not all about you can extend past one relationship and bleed into others.

As a person who has never dealt well with change, this is one I can willingly accept. If he changes me for the better that in turn positively affects (effects? I could never get this rule!) other aspects of my life, then bring it on. As Glinda the Good Witch sings in Wicked, "people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn" and while I've graduated college, I realize I'll never stop learning.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

"The thing is..there are some things we don't admit because we just don't like the way it sounds." --Charlotte York

This quote has never been more true than today. Ask Rose, she'll tell ya. I always thought that if there was a flaw in my personality that was so annoying it bothered me, that I'd fix it. But that's not the way it works. You can put it to the back of your mind, you can try to forget about it but someday it always comes back. Always.

Some people don't want to admit they are needy, or need someone at all. Some people don't want to admit that they're high maintenance even though they (hopefully) know they are. And why are we keeping these thoughts to ourselves? It really is because we don't like how it sounds. I don't like saying I'm annoyed because my boyfriend is in another state. That makes me sound (and feel) like that girl who constantly needs to be with her boyfriend. I don't. But when I say the previous statement out loud, that's what I hear and I assume that's what other people hear.

I don't want to say I'm a hopeless romantic because that's honestly, slightly pathetic. Again, this is my point of view but when I hear of people upset because someone didn't get them flowers for their four and a half month anniversary, I groan, I moan, I roll my eyes. So when I say something I'd imagined in my head all the while knowing it's completely and utterly a selfish thing to say, I cringe. Therefore, when I get these images and made up scenarios in my head, I have to write about them or simply let the day dream come to an end.

I don't want to admit a lot of things but I have to wonder- if I admitted these poor sounding thoughts, emotions and ideas, would I feel better about thinking them?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Sorry Charlie

I have applied for umpteen number of jobs in the past week and ten times that amount in the past year. Yes, the year that started one month ago. Seriously, I cannot even recall half of the jobs I have applied for and how many have I heard back from? Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Half of the jobs I see "require" x number years of experience, generally upwards of 3 years. Here's my question: how am I supposed to get experience if no one will hire me? That's how it was with those darn internships and that's how it is now. The biggest catch-22, practically written by Joseph Heller himself.

So employers who claim to be hiring and reviving this economy. HIRE ME. I'm willing to relocate, travel, essentially do anything to make a steady paycheck and get my own place.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

If you have to think about it, something's not right.

“Practically all the relationships I know are based on a foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusion.” --Samantha Jones

Some things have come to my attention in an acquaintance's life and it's really made me think. If you have to think about it, something's not right. I have a strict rule when I go shopping. If I'm not sure about an article of clothing, I make a point to walk away. If I'm still thinking about it when I leave the store or mall, obviously it's something I really want and will buy said item.

If you're continuously returning to the same thought process (should I get a dog? should I break up with so and so?) then clearly, something in that equation does not fit. To get the same answer every time and yet continue asking the same questions? That's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It just won't work.

I love Sex and the City. A little racy for the younger audience (who are hopefully not watching it) but it's seriously a great show. Could Samantha Jones be right? Are all relationships based on lies and mutually accepted delusion? After seeing a few relationships in action, I could agree. Many a relationship is built on this faulty foundation and they all end up in rubble. But for every ill fated relationship, there is (hopefully) one to counter that. If honesty was ever imperative, this is that time. How can any relationship survive if each partner is telling lies?

I've made a point in my life to be completely honest. It's brutal at times but those who actually care to know and grow from the truth aren't offended. I've been trying too hard to play the "perfect girlfriend" card and am realizing it's not me. But there's no need for pointless fights when an issue can easily be resolved with a conversation.

So stop and asses you relationships, recent decisions and contemplations. If something feels off about any of them, odds are it'll stay that way unless you honestly talk about it. And if that doesn't work, clearly something's not right.