Saturday, February 5, 2011

Something's gotta give

What is it about relationships that get us all worked up? We turn into a different person, we want different things. Maybe this isn't everyone, maybe it's just me but something's gotta give.

The above statement is A) the result of letting my fingers type out exactly what my mind tells them at the exact time it says it and B) absolutely terrifying. Looking over said statement I wonder, is that true? Have I made a rudimentary mistake and let my relationship change who I am? And if so, why do we let this happen?

They say great people, acts or events can change us and if that's true, great. So why is it that people say they won't let a relationship change who they are? I remember talking with girlfriends, saying I wouldn't let a boy change me for anything, but what is the harm in this? If he changes me for the better, shouldn't we embrace that with open arms? When did it become frowned upon to change during and post relationship?

Personally, I think this fear of change stems from the belief that if you change who you are, the relationship isn't real. Which is true, to some extent. Doing a complete 180 for the other person isn't healthy and won't lead to a prosperous relationship, but some changes can make a person better. Realizing you need to be more vocal about your wants can benefit not only your relationship but your life. Learning that it's not all about you can extend past one relationship and bleed into others.

As a person who has never dealt well with change, this is one I can willingly accept. If he changes me for the better that in turn positively affects (effects? I could never get this rule!) other aspects of my life, then bring it on. As Glinda the Good Witch sings in Wicked, "people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn" and while I've graduated college, I realize I'll never stop learning.


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