"No more poison, killing my emotions

I will not be frozen

dancing is my remedy"

Little Boots

I have been obsessed with the above song since June. It's upbeat, happy and tends to encompass a lot of what I'm feeling most of the time. It wasn't until my "long" run Sunday that I decided to replace dancing with running and really appreciated it.

It's amazing how one little thing can change your entire outlook on life. Listening to that song on loud towards the end of mile 4 I feel like I truly grasped my life and all of the events that got me here. My parents moving and me suddenly, finally, feeling like I was on my own. My nephew being born and me suddenly, finally, coming to grips with the fact that we were in fact, adults.

I still find it interesting and slightly ironic how and when these emotions and realizations hit you. I'm sure I'll have slip ups and days when I wonder and regret my choice of not moving to Never Never Land, but I'm pretty sure for each of those days, I'll have at least twice as many days filled with excitement and happiness. I have truly made a life up here for me and I couldn't be happier.

It also seems my dog couldn't be happier with the way things have turned out. It's been 10 and a half weeks since he lost his abdominal fluid on his own and he has energy to boot.

Exhibit A

And now, one of my dearest friends will be living up here soon enough and I can already tell we're going to stir up some trouble. It's taken a few left turns, but I've finally got things situated and I couldn't be happier, although I partly blame the extensive training program for that. Damn endorphins...

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The Mice Saga : Part VIII

For the readers that don't know, I have been having visitors to my apartment for a few weeks now. At first, I liked my new house guest. I affectionately named him Todd and had visions of making a home for him with Teddy and I. Unfortunately, Todd took advantage of the hospitality and I had to end things right there.

And yes, Todd is a mouse...

Well, Todd "left" and I thought everything was back to normal. Until I saw Todd's confused mate, Thick Kevin (please refer to the film Pirate Radio to understand the full awesomeness of his name). Todd must have told Thick Kevin about how amazing things were in Apartment D because he just had to join. I thought Todd was bad, TK proved me otherwise. Needless to say, he had to go.

Now, in the time it took to go from loving to hating Todd, he must have been busy because since then, all of his children have come to mourn him and yell at me. They don't even try to be sneaky anymore, running around in the daylight looking for more food. It all came to a head last Thursday. I heard rustling in my room (again) and had it. I wasn't going to sleep with earplugs if I didn't have to, so I scoured my room to find what the mouse could be eating. There was a stack of solo cups on my desk with a package of 6 Oreo's in them. I thought the aluminum foil wrapping the oreo's would deter the mice but apparently not. I went to throw them away and when I turned the cups upside down over the trash can, yep, out tumbles a mouse.

I haven't heard or seen any since then but I'm sure there still here, waiting. I cleaned up more mice droppings today than I ever thought possible. If I didn't have an intense fear of snakes, I would buy one just so it could take care of the mice. Needless to say, I think I've become pretty hardened to taking care of messy situations. No longer will I have to call my friend at 11 o'clock at night to have him kill some cockroaches (thanks again for the Barret!) or wait and hope the bugs get tired of my place.

I can only hope this is the final chapter to the Mice Saga but fear not, I will keep you updated if it is not.

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"Love yourself for who and what you are; protect your dream and develop your talent to the fullest extent." --Joan Benoit Samuelson

My half-marathon training began today, a week ahead of schedule. I just couldn't put it off anymore! My workout routine for the month of August was challenging enough and I definitely enjoyed watching my muscles grow and body change, but I missed running. So today I thought, what the hell and went for it. I can add mileage one week or fall back a week if I need it and having cushion makes the process a little less daunting.

I've been running for ages, yet it wasn't until college when I fell in love with the activity. Having thirty, sixty, ninety minutes to filter through your thoughts and collect yourself is incredibly therapeutic. Pushing yourself harder, faster, longer and finding that you're capable of it is eye opening. Suddenly, you realize the punches the world throws you won't knock you down. If you're capable of a long run in the heat of summer, anything is possible.

There is nothing more soothing to me than the feel of my feet hitting the pavement or more exciting than having that song come on, the one you've been waiting to hear and finding some hidden store of energy to keep going. To look down at your watch and see that you'd been running longer than you realized, to feel shock when you're not as tired as you expected to be. Finishing a run, collapsing on the hardwood floor while your dog licks the sweat off your legs has got to be one of the best feelings I know.

So here I go. I'll write posts pertaining to my training just to make sure I stay motivated and on top of it. Just over three months until the big run and as excited I as am for race day, I'm more excited for the challenge facing me between then and now.

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"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less...than butterflies."

--Carrie Bradshaw

Well, it's that time again. Sunday night always rolls around and I always feel like I did in primary school - bummed. Not necessarily bummed to go to work but sad that another weekend has come to an end.

I was remembering a conversation had between friends last weekend earlier today. Somehow we got onto the topic of relationships and settling and ever since then I've wondered, is settling worse than ending up alone? I'm not sure. Part of me says yes, absolutely. How can you be happy if the whole time you're wondering what else is out there? But when you're alone, you can't help wonder if you gave up on the one you were supposed to end up with. Or when you're going to meet the one you will end up with.

Which raised another point, if everyone has their one that got away, what is it that prevents us from trying to win them back? Is it pride? Or is it the fear that they got away for a reason? Too many times we over think things. Emotions, relationships, actions. My first instinct is to overanalyze everything when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex which tends to make things, or really just me, crazy. But now, I have decided to think less and just got for it. Go with your gut and don't look back. That's what my professors always told me on tests and it looks like it's pretty applicable to life.

So the question remains: would you rather settle or be alone? Would you risk losing a good relationship because you believe a better one must out there? Or would you hold out in the hope that that good relationship turns into the one that gives you butterflies? Would you stay in a relationship because you're scared to be alone, even if it you know you're only in it to maintain the status quo? Or would you go for it, try to find the right person for you knowing full well that you might not? It's taken me a couple hundred words plus a quote from a wise woman to realize, I won't settle for anything less than butterflies. And if he doesn't show up, at least I have my dog...

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"Happiness, not in another place but this place...not for another hour, but this hour." --Walt Whitman

We all know the grass is always greener and we always want more, but are we ever happy with what we have? We always want the bigger house, the better job, the nicer car but when you think about it, there was a time when you wanted the car you have now or when that apartment you got was too big for you.

It's weird to think about, the fact that all too often after working so hard to get something, turning around and wanting something else. We all do it, don't try to pretend you don't, even if it's something small. We're constantly wanting something different, something supposedly better. So when do we get to the top of that totem pole and realize how amazing things are?

One of the best examples that comes to mind is losing weight. You set a goal, maybe you accomplish it, maybe you don't, but those first few weeks after losing weight are amazing. You can see the changes and feel the difference. But then, after you reach a plateau or perhaps decide to stop actively losing weight, you get used to what you've got and suddenly, it's not good enough. And hey, maybe that's just me but I have a sneaking suspicion it's not.

I have to remind myself, when my mood sours and my outlook darkens, that there were times when I dreamt about the life I'm leading now. And even though I might want something different, something "better", I need to take the time to think about how good those things are now. I know I'm blessed but I could do to remember it more often. We don't know when happiness will come and we don't know how long it will stay, but like Walt Whitman says above, enjoy it now, while you have it. Enjoy and be thankful for what is in your life.

Well, that got a little preachy...oops!

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