Thursday, February 14, 2013

10 Things

I had an idea this morning, upon experience #1, to make lists documenting the good, the bad and the ugly for each sex. We'll see how long this post series will last...That being said, I give you:

10 Things that Stink for Girls

1.) Going to bed with amazing looking hair and waking up to find it looking awful. Like a bird decided to co-habitat with a squirrel in your hair.

2.) Getting all the way to work in a skirt and realizing that your leg hair grew at an alarming rate. When in doubt, shave. Or be that girl who carries pantyhose in her purse (do they even exist?).

3.) Doing your hair, then stepping outside to find humidity has taken over and you just wasted ten minutes of your morning. Weather 1, Females 0.

4.) Painting your nails and then immediately having to go to the bathroom.

5.) Having a ten minute talk with your crush and then finding out you had lipstick on your teeth the whole time. Revlon 1, Females -1.

6.) Taking off eye makeup. This is probably one of the things I hate the most about going to bed. Sure, I don't have to do it, but when I get lazy, I lay in bed thinking of my eyelashes caking together to form a giant glob on each eye and eventually get out of bed to do this abhorred task.  

7.) Wearing a new pair of shoes and getting a blister within the first thirty minutes. Nothing says you're going to be the whiniest person in an hour more than crummy shoes and no band aids. (Sidenote: I think men are genetically programmed to have incredibly thick skin on their feet. Do they ever get blisters?!)

8.) Tweezing your eyebrows; it's like sticking yourself with a safety pin over and over.  Very similar to number 6 in that, I don't have have to do it but frankly, I don't like the look of waxed eyebrows when those little nugget hairs start growing back in and are too small to tweeze. It just looks weird.

9.) Dressing up to go out. Yes, women love getting all dolled up but when I am going out, I don't want to have to spend an hour contemplating what I'm going to wear, after which point I will inevitably exclaim that I have nothing to wear. Sure, I could pick something at random, but even guys don't do that.

10.) Wearing heels. Ever. Yes, we inflict this upon ourselves and yes, we feel sexier when we wear them but regardless, heels bite. We will tell you we have a pair that are "so comfortable" that we could "wear for hours" but that's complete BS. Sure, I have a pair of heels I can wear to work, but you make me stand at a bar for extended periods of time and I'm out. Enjoy those sneakers, boys.

Please note: I did everything I could to exclude anything applicable to both sexes (pimples, sweating, etc) as well as things that are completely out of our control (hello mother nature).

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