"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate."
--Carrie Bradshaw

Life is great and frankly, has never been better. It makes me realize that everything really does happen for a reason and coming to that happy conclusion is the best feeling. I've always told myself (and you readers) that the low points will lead to another high, you just have to get there. And if you're in a low point right now, keep going. The past 10 months of my life felt like running the obstacle course on Wipeout. I'd get through one hurdle only to be presented with another. After it beat me up a few times, I'd clear that one and have to jump on the big, red balls. But I did it. And I'm so much better for it.

Like I've written before, I love looking back and thinking, 'Had this not happened, that wouldn't have come to pass, then I wouldn't have met that person,' so on and so forth. So all the crud you're going through right now is for a reason. Maybe it's teaching you a skill you didn't realize would be beneficial, maybe it's to introduce you to someone who will end up changing your life in a way you never thought. Regardless, there is a reason for it and if you don't know it now, you will eventually. Just keep reminding yourself that when you're questioning everything.

The new job is amazing, the people and place are incredible and I'm so happy. I go to sleep excited to go to work, which is something I've never experienced. I know people don't like to call past experiences mistakes but I think the biggest thing is to not regret these mistakes. You make 'em, you live, you learn. Each mistake is another piece that helps define the puzzle and put it all together, so I say make that life altering decision and go for it. If anything, it'll be an experience that helps define you and your future.

Read More

"You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."

-- Walt Disney

Not surprisingly, Mr. Disney makes a great point and it's something I've written plenty about. That being said, I won't touch on it much more than to offer a great quote and hope that you will keep it in mind next time you're reeling from the blow that just hit or the hand you were unexpectedly dealt because for every crummy day you have, two perfectly fine days will follow until eventually, the crummy days are gone. Take my word for it.

I have a puppy. In all honesty, I found it easy to forget the fact that Ted was only eight, nine, ten

months old until now. His illness had plagued him

with the body of a fifteen year old dog, preventing him from walking around the block in even the

coolest of weather. Well, he is most certainly not suffering from that anymore. He got three walks today with sporadic running thrown in the mix and he still had energy to burn. He has to walk on his leash now because if he even sees another person, much less another dog, he will bolt to make a new friend. I watched him play with my neighbors dog this weekend and had to pinch myself to make sure it was real.

Due to this, I had to buckle down and do the things I had been putting off. I finally caved and gave him a good haircut, trimming down the spots my dad had missed and getting his hair down to a more manageable length. Little does he know he'll probably be getting another

grooming session this weekend. He did surprisingly well with the trimmers, sitting for me and not making any kind of fuss. As you can tell (I hope?) left is the before and right is the after (although I cut the hair on his face a bit later). He looks like a whole new dog!

I feel like I have finally truly adjusted to the working world and the life that comes with it. Soaking up the weekends as much as possible and still being incredibly productive on the weekdays. I have a schedule I prefer to follow and rather enjoy having everything mapped out. In fact, deviations leave me slightly uncomfortable. Yay for the early signs of some kind of compulsive disorder.

It's finally the weekend and I'm ecstatic. What are your plans?

Read More

"Sorrow is a fruit. God does not make it grow on limbs too weak to bear it." -- Victor Hugo

It has been exactly one month since Teddy lost the fluid in his abdomen. For a while, I expected it to come back and I still fear it will but his behavior this morning makes me think he's feeling better than ever. Nothing beats being woken up by a whining dog, jumping to try and get on your bed and lick you until you wake up. Or taking said dog for a walk around the block and having to speed up your pace to keep up with him. Ironically, I had a dream last night that contained several scenarios of my dog dying and yet here he is, happy, energetic, and hopefully healthy.

I took a much needed break last night and stayed in. I read, wrote, pondered, remembered. And then, this morning, I understood. It truly was an aha moment, the realization of why things had to happen. Take Teddy for example. When we found out he had his liver problems, I had two options. To distance myself from my amazing puppy or bond with him like no other and make sure he had the best last weeks of his life. I went for option B and here we are, 6 months later and still going. That bond is something I wouldn't trade for the world.

Victor Hugo is right- The Lord doesn't put us through trials and tribulations if we can't handle it. Of course, that knowledge and outlook is hardest to grasp when you're in the thick of it all. And I'll admit, I knew things would get better with time and that there was a reason for everything but constantly telling yourself that doesn't make it any easier to believe. No, it's not until you reach the other side of the mountain that you become capable of looking back and appreciating the journey. Appreciating the hardships and burdens you have overcome. And looking back at where you were and seeing where you are now, that's got to be one of the best feelings in the world.

So those troubling times you're going through now? Just remember, they don't last forever and honestly, the view's much better from the other side of the mountain.

Read More

Did that really just happen?

It's been a rough couple of days. Remember when I said Teddy was feeling better in my hands? Not so bloated? It was true, but his fluid tests came in and the vet told me I needed to get him to a specialist stat. Mom and I made the drive to A&M and upon arrival, they promptly took Teddy. That's when I knew it was bad, since they were waiting for us to get there.

Four odd hours later we find out his portal vein to his liver has never properly functioned, thus inhibiting the amount of blood that goes into his liver. In fact, very little blood gets filtered through it at all as he has created pathways that avert the blood around the liver straight to the heart. Because of this, his liver will stop functioning and shut down, thus killing my sweet angel.

The vet didn't know exactly how long he has. She said a few days to three weeks. Now it's just spoil spoil spoil until that dreaded day when I realize what's happened and have to take him to be put to sleep. I am having such a hard time and can't believe how quickly this all came about. I can't even truly comprehend it all. Was it just Sunday night that I was trying to kennel him at night because I didn't want him sleeping in the bed in five, ten, fifteen years? It was. And now, I don't even know if he'll be here in five days. It's mind blowing how much I've come to love the little guy, how much everyone has. He will be greatly missed.

There are definitely some hard times ahead. I just hope I can make it through unscathed.

Read More