Monday, July 4, 2011

"Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be." --Carrie Bradshaw

I think the most interesting thing to have come from the past two+ weeks is discovering I'm not who I thought I was. I'm not that shy girl I was back in primary school or even during college, I'm not the girl who was scared of risk or adventure and I'm not ready to be tied down to a place like I thought I was.

There were so many times in my past when I would be the quiet one, unable to introduce myself to my peers and in turn, be the odd one out. That wasn't a constant but it was more often then not. And now, here I am, going out and making friends on the weekends, meeting new people and honestly, living for me. I'm doing things because I want to and because of that, I'm enjoying all of the experiences so much more. I'm no longer the homebody who stays in on a Friday night, not because I don't still enjoy that but because I want to go out and meet people, maybe go a little crazy.

I was thinking today, especially with my job, that I can go anywhere. I can live anywhere and still get my job done. Which has made me want to compile a list of the places I want to stay and figure out when I'm moving. Go for 6 months to a year and then move on to the next place. Of course, it's easy to say now when I don't have something/someone tying me to one spot but it's still fun to think of being in California for a while, living in Hawaii and working on the beach, stopping in Houston and watching my precious nephew.

I'm realizing at this point in my life, the options are endless. The opportunities are never-ending and, for now, I have no one to worry about except myself, which is so incredibly freeing (albeit a little little sad, again, for now). It's interesting that people say your past shapes who you become, which can be true. But at the same time, if you hold onto your past for too long, it really can become an anchor that weighs you down and keeps you from growing, changing, improving. Sometimes though, it's easier to hold onto your past. It's what you know since you've experienced it. But take the risk, let it go and figure out first hand who you're supposed to be without the past keeping you from doing so.


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