"Habit is a man's sole comfort. We dislike doing without even unpleasant things to which we have become accustomed." --Goethe

We all have bad habits and heck, we all know we should drop them so the questions is, why don't we? Why do we keep going back to someone we know will hurt us or doing something that we know isn't good? Why are bad habits so damn addictive?

I guess it's the same reason some of the yummiest tasting food is so bad for you. If the food reflected how bad it was for you, no one would eat it. So it's masked with who knows what and suddenly, it tastes great. Does that comparison even make sense? If we realized how bad that habit really was, surely we wouldn't continually do it. Right?

I think Goethe is definitely on to something - we continue to do something, regardless of whether or not it's pleasant or enjoyable solely because we got used to it. It's like working out; they say you have to give it two weeks to fall into the pattern of it because that's how long it takes for your body to become used to it. So my thought process then is, to kick a bad habit, give it a good two weeks. Although, I'm sure we all know it takes a lot more than that. It's interesting that bad habits take longer to learn to live without while a good habit or routine can settle in pretty quickly. I only wish that people could see just how bad their bad habit(s) is(are) and just how much it affects them.

Then again, I know I've got my fair share of bad habits (and if you're reading this and know some, please feel free to not post them!) that I just can't quit. Some worse than others, I sit here and think 'It'd be easy to do without it, but I just don't want to.' So kudos to you Goethe, you've wrapped up my entire sentiment about bad habits in one simple, easy to understand statement. Enjoy my fluff around it on your lazy Sunday :)

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"In childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking out. In memories of childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking in." --Robert Brault

Everyone can attest to being a child, a teen and wishing you were older. Wishing you could drive, wishing you could live on your own. And then, the time comes when you can do all of that and more, and you suddenly realize it's not what you thought it'd be. Or maybe it is. But regardless, you are left with the realization that the grown up life you always dreamt of and looked forward to is here, and you're suddenly looking back on the past wondering where it all went.

I went to Fright Fest last night with the most amazing friends who put up with my intense anxiety ("Why is there traffic?! We have to get there now!") and let my inner 8 year old come out once we got inside the park. There was definitely skipping. I hadn't been to this amusement park since I lived ten minutes away from it fifteen years ago. To say it was strange to be back would be an understatement. To say it was strange to be back AND drinking a beer would be an incredible understatement.

I promptly beelined for the rollercoaster in the back, the one I affectionately remember riding three times in a row and thinking the drop never ended, and hopped up and down until we loaded into the seats. My excitement was palpable and I felt like a kid again. But then the ride ended, so much faster than I remember, and I couldn't help wonder if I made a mistake going back. It wasn't the same. I wasn't eight and my dad wasn't sitting next to me.

I hope I'm still allowed to be in this transition phase. I am loving living on my own, making the dinner I want and being the sole provider for my darling pup. But, the fact that Christmas this year will be spent in a brand new state sans a family member and her family won't stop blowing my mind. The fact that my time with family and friends outside of this state is dependent on how many vacation and personal days I have left is crazy.

They always told us when we were kids that it goes so fast. All I could ever say to that is, "Fast?! You call this fast?!"

Yes Kaitlyn, that was fast.

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Well everybody hurts,
That’s where we’re all the same
We drive on through the worst
And push on through the pain
-Gavin Degraw

Gavin Degraw recently released his latest album, Sweeter, and let me tell you, it's phenomenal. I loved his first album, enjoyed the second and have yet to listen to his third but this one is on par. I can't decide which song is my favorite because they change every other day and because they relate to some aspect of my life.

My sister used to ask me what I heard first in songs, the lyrics or the melody and to be frank, I still don't know. The melody will get stuck in my head for hours when I don't know the words and after I've memorized the words, I'll listen to a song on repeat because it "speaks" to me. And yes, I know that sounds so incredibly lame but isn't that the entire point of music? To reach an audience who relates completely to your words and can say, 'Hey, I've been there'? To write a piece of music that is so entrancing and memorable that, no matter what you do, you can't get it out of your head? I think so...or that's why I listen to most of the music I do.

It's incredible to me just how much songs can change your outlook on things. I think that's why Gavin DeGraw's latest release is so exciting. Every song fits a different situation and even though some are sad songs at their core, they can still make you smile. That's the brilliance of music. It listens when you don't know what to say, it's there when you're friends are busy. It can make you smile or encourage that flood of tears that you've been dying to get out but just couldn't...until now.

If I didn't convey my feelings enough by now, I highly highly recommend purchasing the newest release from Gavin DeGraw, Sweeter, or at least giving it a fair listen to on Spotify. And if you're not a fan of pop music, at least listen to it and give the guy some respect for writing and playing his own music.

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"The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places." --Ernest Hemingway

Please correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the entire process of working out, lifting weights, getting swole, based on the process of tearing your muscles so they mend themselves bigger? Granted, some of that terminology is probably wrong and it might be a bit more complicated than that but the idea is the same. Break it down, build it back stronger. So why is it then, that when we're confronted with situations that could lead to incredible growth, we run?

We're told all the time to exercise and work out to stay healthy and lead longer, better lives but I think we should also be encouraged and reminded to keep our lives filled with challenges. When a relationship suddenly requires more effort or communication, don't run scared. Stay and fight. When a job has you working 60+ hours a week and all you want to do is lock yourself in a closet, don't. Know that the busy will fade and you'll be a better worker, able to handle the thousand assignments in 40 hours easy.

I don't think people see challenges in their lives as that. They see them as complications, something to be wiped from the slate before moving onto the next easy activity. But be honest, where's the fun in easy? I didn't sign up for a half-marathon because I thought it'd be easy. I wanted a chance to push myself harder and farther than I had before. I wanted the experience, the goals, the satisfaction at the end. I'm not saying all quitting is bad. Some relationships aren't meant to last, some jobs are simply stepping stones, but don't be so quick to push the eject button. You never know what you're going to learn about yourself if you try a little harder, push a little farther.

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“I’m 30, and I’m Catholic and I’mma die alone in a light-up Christmas sweater talking to a menagerie of parrots” -Happy Endings

TV shows came back with a vengeance last week but there was one crucial comedy missing from my line up. Happy Endings. It's first season, all 13 episodes, premiered as a mid-season replacement last spring and was criticized to be a poor replacement of Friends. I wasn't expecting too much, the commercials made me laugh enough to tune in. The first episode made me laugh enough to forego my bedtime and watch the second. After that, I was hooked.

The show follows the friendship of Alex, Dave, Penny, Max, Jane and Brad. In a very broad sense, it's like Friends. The trials and tribulations of these 30-somethings in Chicago, but when you get down to it, this show is nothing like its much loved predecessor. In the first episode, Alex leaves Dave at the altar and everyone is left to wonder what will become of their group. Jane and Brad are married, Max is a homosexual and Penny is...Penny.

What makes this show so uh-mahzing is the fact that in every episode, a discussion will be had that you've had with your friends. A character will go through something that you went through just the other week. The show is the opposite of Friends because it's so relatable. I have never dated the same guy multiple times, nor do I plan to, but I have absolutely had a conversation with my friends about Z-day or being in a dark place, "like going back to grad school dark."

Season 2 premieres this Wednesday at 8:30 central, after Modern Family. And if you can't fall asleep tonight, go ahead and watch some of the first season. I guarantee you will get hooked after the first I've said that before! moment.

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And for once it might be grand

to have someone understand,

I want so much more then they've got planned

-Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast. A classic and, in my mind, the best Disney film. Maybe I took to it because she was the first brunette "princess" so I could obviously relate to her so much more than the previous princesses. Plus, she loves to read so basically, she's me in cartoon form.

I have to admit, watching this movie again now is a little...upsetting. Firstly, the Beast's rose is set to bloom until his 21st birthday at which point, if he doesn't find love *spoilers* he's stuck as a beast forever. 21?? Twenty one? As in the year Americans become old enough to legally purchase alcohol? Granted, some people have been fortunate enough to find their true love before or by that age but goodness, I can't imagine it. Not because here I am, 23 and single but because I have grown and changed so much in the past six months, not to mention the past two years.

Then again, at the same time, 21 was quite old to my ten year old self and I had always imagined being married and starting a family pretty quickly. That I blame on my mother and all the other Disney movies. I also blame Disney for setting unrealistic expectations. Why does there seem to be a Prince on every corner who's ready to build their Princess a library or travel through town putting a shoe on every girl he sees? Oh Disney, you kill me but you know what? I wouldn't trade those unrealistic expectations for anything. That's how you'll know that guy's someone special.

Secondly, it's upsetting only because I really am an adult now and this movie only reminds me of simpler times. Was it really 15 years ago that I was pretending to be Belle in my gold ball gown at halloween? My how time has flown. Now, my life didn't turn out the way I had imagined it would when I was ten but then again I had wanted to be the next Lindsay Lohan. Frankly, I think I got the better end of the deal.

So, for the next 90 minutes I will escape into the France on my screen while remembering my youth, still wishing I had the blue jumper dress to wear everyday to work. Looks like someone just found her halloween costume!

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"No more poison, killing my emotions

I will not be frozen

dancing is my remedy"

Little Boots

I have been obsessed with the above song since June. It's upbeat, happy and tends to encompass a lot of what I'm feeling most of the time. It wasn't until my "long" run Sunday that I decided to replace dancing with running and really appreciated it.

It's amazing how one little thing can change your entire outlook on life. Listening to that song on loud towards the end of mile 4 I feel like I truly grasped my life and all of the events that got me here. My parents moving and me suddenly, finally, feeling like I was on my own. My nephew being born and me suddenly, finally, coming to grips with the fact that we were in fact, adults.

I still find it interesting and slightly ironic how and when these emotions and realizations hit you. I'm sure I'll have slip ups and days when I wonder and regret my choice of not moving to Never Never Land, but I'm pretty sure for each of those days, I'll have at least twice as many days filled with excitement and happiness. I have truly made a life up here for me and I couldn't be happier.

It also seems my dog couldn't be happier with the way things have turned out. It's been 10 and a half weeks since he lost his abdominal fluid on his own and he has energy to boot.

Exhibit A

And now, one of my dearest friends will be living up here soon enough and I can already tell we're going to stir up some trouble. It's taken a few left turns, but I've finally got things situated and I couldn't be happier, although I partly blame the extensive training program for that. Damn endorphins...

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The Mice Saga : Part VIII

For the readers that don't know, I have been having visitors to my apartment for a few weeks now. At first, I liked my new house guest. I affectionately named him Todd and had visions of making a home for him with Teddy and I. Unfortunately, Todd took advantage of the hospitality and I had to end things right there.

And yes, Todd is a mouse...

Well, Todd "left" and I thought everything was back to normal. Until I saw Todd's confused mate, Thick Kevin (please refer to the film Pirate Radio to understand the full awesomeness of his name). Todd must have told Thick Kevin about how amazing things were in Apartment D because he just had to join. I thought Todd was bad, TK proved me otherwise. Needless to say, he had to go.

Now, in the time it took to go from loving to hating Todd, he must have been busy because since then, all of his children have come to mourn him and yell at me. They don't even try to be sneaky anymore, running around in the daylight looking for more food. It all came to a head last Thursday. I heard rustling in my room (again) and had it. I wasn't going to sleep with earplugs if I didn't have to, so I scoured my room to find what the mouse could be eating. There was a stack of solo cups on my desk with a package of 6 Oreo's in them. I thought the aluminum foil wrapping the oreo's would deter the mice but apparently not. I went to throw them away and when I turned the cups upside down over the trash can, yep, out tumbles a mouse.

I haven't heard or seen any since then but I'm sure there still here, waiting. I cleaned up more mice droppings today than I ever thought possible. If I didn't have an intense fear of snakes, I would buy one just so it could take care of the mice. Needless to say, I think I've become pretty hardened to taking care of messy situations. No longer will I have to call my friend at 11 o'clock at night to have him kill some cockroaches (thanks again for the Barret!) or wait and hope the bugs get tired of my place.

I can only hope this is the final chapter to the Mice Saga but fear not, I will keep you updated if it is not.

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"Love yourself for who and what you are; protect your dream and develop your talent to the fullest extent." --Joan Benoit Samuelson

My half-marathon training began today, a week ahead of schedule. I just couldn't put it off anymore! My workout routine for the month of August was challenging enough and I definitely enjoyed watching my muscles grow and body change, but I missed running. So today I thought, what the hell and went for it. I can add mileage one week or fall back a week if I need it and having cushion makes the process a little less daunting.

I've been running for ages, yet it wasn't until college when I fell in love with the activity. Having thirty, sixty, ninety minutes to filter through your thoughts and collect yourself is incredibly therapeutic. Pushing yourself harder, faster, longer and finding that you're capable of it is eye opening. Suddenly, you realize the punches the world throws you won't knock you down. If you're capable of a long run in the heat of summer, anything is possible.

There is nothing more soothing to me than the feel of my feet hitting the pavement or more exciting than having that song come on, the one you've been waiting to hear and finding some hidden store of energy to keep going. To look down at your watch and see that you'd been running longer than you realized, to feel shock when you're not as tired as you expected to be. Finishing a run, collapsing on the hardwood floor while your dog licks the sweat off your legs has got to be one of the best feelings I know.

So here I go. I'll write posts pertaining to my training just to make sure I stay motivated and on top of it. Just over three months until the big run and as excited I as am for race day, I'm more excited for the challenge facing me between then and now.

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"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less...than butterflies."

--Carrie Bradshaw

Well, it's that time again. Sunday night always rolls around and I always feel like I did in primary school - bummed. Not necessarily bummed to go to work but sad that another weekend has come to an end.

I was remembering a conversation had between friends last weekend earlier today. Somehow we got onto the topic of relationships and settling and ever since then I've wondered, is settling worse than ending up alone? I'm not sure. Part of me says yes, absolutely. How can you be happy if the whole time you're wondering what else is out there? But when you're alone, you can't help wonder if you gave up on the one you were supposed to end up with. Or when you're going to meet the one you will end up with.

Which raised another point, if everyone has their one that got away, what is it that prevents us from trying to win them back? Is it pride? Or is it the fear that they got away for a reason? Too many times we over think things. Emotions, relationships, actions. My first instinct is to overanalyze everything when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex which tends to make things, or really just me, crazy. But now, I have decided to think less and just got for it. Go with your gut and don't look back. That's what my professors always told me on tests and it looks like it's pretty applicable to life.

So the question remains: would you rather settle or be alone? Would you risk losing a good relationship because you believe a better one must out there? Or would you hold out in the hope that that good relationship turns into the one that gives you butterflies? Would you stay in a relationship because you're scared to be alone, even if it you know you're only in it to maintain the status quo? Or would you go for it, try to find the right person for you knowing full well that you might not? It's taken me a couple hundred words plus a quote from a wise woman to realize, I won't settle for anything less than butterflies. And if he doesn't show up, at least I have my dog...

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"Happiness, not in another place but this place...not for another hour, but this hour." --Walt Whitman

We all know the grass is always greener and we always want more, but are we ever happy with what we have? We always want the bigger house, the better job, the nicer car but when you think about it, there was a time when you wanted the car you have now or when that apartment you got was too big for you.

It's weird to think about, the fact that all too often after working so hard to get something, turning around and wanting something else. We all do it, don't try to pretend you don't, even if it's something small. We're constantly wanting something different, something supposedly better. So when do we get to the top of that totem pole and realize how amazing things are?

One of the best examples that comes to mind is losing weight. You set a goal, maybe you accomplish it, maybe you don't, but those first few weeks after losing weight are amazing. You can see the changes and feel the difference. But then, after you reach a plateau or perhaps decide to stop actively losing weight, you get used to what you've got and suddenly, it's not good enough. And hey, maybe that's just me but I have a sneaking suspicion it's not.

I have to remind myself, when my mood sours and my outlook darkens, that there were times when I dreamt about the life I'm leading now. And even though I might want something different, something "better", I need to take the time to think about how good those things are now. I know I'm blessed but I could do to remember it more often. We don't know when happiness will come and we don't know how long it will stay, but like Walt Whitman says above, enjoy it now, while you have it. Enjoy and be thankful for what is in your life.

Well, that got a little preachy...oops!

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"You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."

-- Walt Disney

Not surprisingly, Mr. Disney makes a great point and it's something I've written plenty about. That being said, I won't touch on it much more than to offer a great quote and hope that you will keep it in mind next time you're reeling from the blow that just hit or the hand you were unexpectedly dealt because for every crummy day you have, two perfectly fine days will follow until eventually, the crummy days are gone. Take my word for it.

I have a puppy. In all honesty, I found it easy to forget the fact that Ted was only eight, nine, ten

months old until now. His illness had plagued him

with the body of a fifteen year old dog, preventing him from walking around the block in even the

coolest of weather. Well, he is most certainly not suffering from that anymore. He got three walks today with sporadic running thrown in the mix and he still had energy to burn. He has to walk on his leash now because if he even sees another person, much less another dog, he will bolt to make a new friend. I watched him play with my neighbors dog this weekend and had to pinch myself to make sure it was real.

Due to this, I had to buckle down and do the things I had been putting off. I finally caved and gave him a good haircut, trimming down the spots my dad had missed and getting his hair down to a more manageable length. Little does he know he'll probably be getting another

grooming session this weekend. He did surprisingly well with the trimmers, sitting for me and not making any kind of fuss. As you can tell (I hope?) left is the before and right is the after (although I cut the hair on his face a bit later). He looks like a whole new dog!

I feel like I have finally truly adjusted to the working world and the life that comes with it. Soaking up the weekends as much as possible and still being incredibly productive on the weekdays. I have a schedule I prefer to follow and rather enjoy having everything mapped out. In fact, deviations leave me slightly uncomfortable. Yay for the early signs of some kind of compulsive disorder.

It's finally the weekend and I'm ecstatic. What are your plans?

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